Garden Gnomes and Other Decorating Blunders
My taste in decoration eschews cute and adorable.
Cutesy hearts and animals—designs I find deplorable.
When I choose to accentuate, fantasy is out.
It’s simply an esthetic that I choose to flout.
Whimsy in embellishment is not a problem for me.
It’s only sticky sweet that will irritate and bore me.
So keep your big-eyed children, your fairy, elf and gnome.
Their plaster effigies will never decorate my home.
My garden will not sport them. My butterflies are real.
Garden gnomes are merely things for passers-by to steal.
Photo by Sarah Brink on Unsplash,Used with permission. Prompt words today are fantasy, accentuate, elect, eschew, taste and decoration.
I would love to visit your garden!
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You are very welcome to do so if you ever come to Mexico!
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I hope one day!
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Someone just opened a garden gnome store on the Main during Covid. They must be sent to the gnome home for the insane.
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Ha.
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I am with you on that, Judy. Ditto for Venus de Milo and Michelangelo’s David with decidedly Latin faces that proliferate in South Florida.
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Beautiful image created with words of your garden… 🙂
https://serendipityofdreams.blogspot.com/2020/10/fairy-tale.html
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No-one steals our local garden gnomes 🙂
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That’s because they all have their own. No need to. ;o).
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My garden is filled with silly things that make me happy. Especially my decorated bowling balls.
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ENOUGH OF YOU GNOME BIGOTS~!
They may have small feelings but they can get big hurt~! I have a space nearby, in my yard, that has a tiny grotto, with boulders and a small stream running through it, (unless it rains). Every time I pass that spot I think of the “Teenie Weenies” I knew them so well as a kid and followed them every Sunday in the funny papers. Why do you BIG FOLKS hate them so~? They are folks just like you and me, except not OVER SIZED. STOP being a BIGot, just trashing them. And furthermore, when you are walking through the woods, watch where you step, you may accidentally step on one of them.
And if you are tired of your Garden Gnome, send it to me, I have a special protective place for them called “The Helter Skelter Shelter”, you probably stole it from a neighbors garden anyway~!
GNOMES HAVE FEELINGS TOO
Shame, shame on all of you
what if they hated Giants such as you,
I wonder just what YOU would do~!
Stop running Gnomes down,
they are already too close to the ground~!
They are tiny and cute that way
while they just run, hum, and play.
They don’t take up very much space,
of our larger human race.
And you rarely hear them speak
when their tiny voices so weak.
Some of them may even marry
others with wings, called a fairy.
And still others I am told
live under bridges and are called Trools.
So learn more about their life
being so small can really cause strife.
Go out and adopt a Gnome today
it will help you stop being that way.
Quit your always running them down,
and please stay out of Gnome town
you my step on one of them,
which would squash them limb from limb.
Stop all your terrible BIGoted ways
I hope you will rue the days
when you said all those mean bad things
about gnomes, under bridges, with or without wings.
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Sam, you should know that I don’t denigrate the Teenie Weenies! In fact, I dedicated a blog to them long before you even deigned to mention their sacred names. https://judydykstrabrown.com/2015/08/08/night-fantasies-and-other-reading-pleasures/
However, I was expecting some flack in regards to garden gnomes. I know. Plaster Lives Matter!!! I do not appreciate, however, the fact that you imagine I would have a garden gnome to steal. Not even during an early age of questionable esthetics did I stoop to garden gnomes. And so, we must just agree to disagree on this matter. If, however, you take occasion to today’s poem, I am afraid our blogging friendship is over.
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Oh ! OH !!, that verbal slap really hurt, in fact it really made me feel like dirt~!
I feel so bad that I riled you up though. I am so upset that I might have hurt you so~! In fact I felt so contrite and sick, that I went outside and hit one of my gnomes with a stick~! But then I came back in and found my Teenie Weenies book to read again, thinking about all the trouble I’m in. I must try to spell your Spanish phrase “gnome gusta”, would that be a friendship booster~? I do know that your garden effigy is not a plaster gnome at all, but rather a Meditating Buddha Statue large and tall. Also a strange wooden thing hanging from a palm tree, covered by growth until it you can’t see. I know that you would not take one of my gnomes because they are protected by Big Foot and are not alone.
https://www.wayfair.com/outdoor/pdp/design-toscano-schlepping-the-garden-gnomes-bigfoot-statue-txg9157.html
I did remember that we had a mutual love of the Tennie Weenies and actually told you about loving them in the funnies.
Well to save a friendship I will say to you: when in gnomeville, do as the gnomen do~! And I hope your anger will go away too.
If you have even decided to do away with all that jive, then use their tiny stuff to make something alive~!
https://www.hgtv.com/design/make-and-celebrate/handmade/make-a-teacup-garden-pictures
This is not the first time I have been a jerk, and back then the following poem seemed to work.
SLAPPING A SAP
In jest I wrote a soliloquy
it was about lying and things that be.
In it words that did not bother me,
but taken as more by her, or so said she.
She took askance and let me know,
such a statement my couth did not show,
and such farther writing had to go,
or I could no longer be her beaux.
So she gave my cheek a verbal slap,
telling me how I was such a sap,
an evil minded thoughtless chap,
for writing terrible things like that.
Feelings hurt from that verbal blow.
That face slap then began to grow,
and my sorrows began to show,
a condition I had to let her know.
Then she assured me right back:
Twas not a slap but a gentle tap,
on the cheek of her beloved but slack,
lest I think that she doth make an attack,
Feeling my words from her should depart,
she felt the pain of others, from the start,
so because we were then so far apart,
she made this statement from her heart.
I’ve learned my lesson so will try,
not to write such things on the fly,
but will digest every word, thereby,
keeping peace, for from that sting I still cry.
MVC
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Okay.. we’ll let sleeping gnomes lie. I, too, have a Buddha in my back yard–as well as a Ganesha. My prejudice only goes so far.
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au shucks, thanks for forgiving~! No gnomes for me, but I do have statues near my house to name only two, one of St Francis and the other of stone that looks like you. Other than that I have many birds, lizards, snakes, frogs, cats and terracotta heads. But never would I have even dead one alone , of an unreal plaster cast of a gnome~!
Most the rest are made in Mexico and seem to break when Tami walks by. Why can’t they learn to do a better job with fire, like the gnome plaster workers do~?
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It is the cats who have wreaked havoc with my terracotta Mexican sculptures..and workmen.
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squirrels seem to be the worse to me, even the ones hanging in a tree~!…
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I’m sorry to read that your gnomes get stolen. I actually find extra gnomes left in my garden or have other gnomes visit. https://riversidepeace.com/2020/08/05/gnome-matter-what/
🙂
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I do not know if mine is a gnome or called an elf, it is stone an not one of those painted things. Tami my dog really likes it, and checks it out in the tall flowers daily in more ways than one~! If it adds to an otherwise bare spot I am OK with it (sense it was a gift)~!
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My Scottie Morrie is very good and baptizing my garden stones and sculptures as well. I think he thinks it is an honor.
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There’s different types of gnomes. Maybe different breeds. 😉
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No doubt. I can’t imagine an Irish gnome would be identical to one, say, from South Dakota!
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Or an Aussie. 😉
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Aussies have gnomes? Never saw one there. It seemed a world much less devoted to kitsch.
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A lot of people do.
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‘Garden dwarfs’ are lawn ornament figurines of small humanoid creatures known as gnomes. Traditionally, the figurines depict male dwarfs wearing red pointy hats. Typically, gnomes stand between one and two feet (30 and 60 cm). A recent trend has introduced miniature gnomes of only a few inches in height.
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So your little elf is officially a gnome or dwarf as well..
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! oh, ahí vas de nuevo ! :- )
Just when I was forgetting about the past. You Gnome bigots upset me again about that poor little stone gnome hidden behind my home. You even had me using a half word that does not exist! (COUTH). So I posted a photo of my gnome complete with why I defend him so~! SO LEAVE MY GNOME ALONE~!
GO HERE: https://mcouvillion.wordpress.com/2021/01/21/a-poem-to-my-gnome/
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I don’t know why you keep insisting that couth isn’t a word. It’s very uncouth of you. Here’s what Merriam Webster has to say about the matter: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/couth#:~:text=%3A%20sophisticated%2C%20polished%20Although%20they%20disagreed,to%20listen%20to%20him%20respectfully.
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Oh you South Dakotans are as stubborn as a bull moose~! Who would believe Merrial Webster when first he did not know how to spell his name an second who would believe a dead person~!
Go here for the truth and don’t be uncouth~! Ha~!, didn’t you notice that I use that word all the time~? But it was not couth to use it in my youth, and I still know how to get a person going with my spoof~!
http://blog.writeathome.com/index.php/2011/10/is-couth-a-word/
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