The Tin Man Talks to His Creator
I’m just a “thing” made out of metal,
stovepipe legs, my head a kettle.
When it rains, I rust apart
and so expose my lack of heart.
It is no mystery, no riddle
that I’m empty in the middle.
Some say a heart is of no use.
It is a trap. It is a noose.
It is an organ of abuse,
at best of times, merely a truce
in the battle of the sexes
between them and all their exes.
They say, “When born without a heart,
there’s nothing there to tear apart!”
Yet still I feel that all that pain
would not, could not, be in vain.
I’d bear the sadness for the start
of love that I’d feel with a heart.
And so, I pine and wish and stew
that I might be born anew
with a beating corazon
so I’d not feel so alone,
and though I would be made of tin,
that living heart that pulsed within
would let me feel at last what they
take for granted every day.
What care I that I fall to dust
if I could love before I rust?
Once more, I pray to my creator,
to that great procrastinator.
I ask again to have a heart—
what I’ve asked for from the start.
I say, “The pain, without a doubt,
can’t be worse than going without.”
Then that Great Tinsmith in the sky
looks me firmly in the eye
so the truth I cannot miss
as he gently tells me this:
“A heart’s not something I can bestow.
It is a thing you have to grow.”
Forgottenman says I should tell you what I told him about this poem. I actually wrote it after midnight while sitting outside in what might loosely be called my hot tub. Since the night was quite cold and the water had been sitting for two days, it was something less than hot, even less than lukewarm. I was writing on lined paper using a flashlight with a magnetic bottom that stuck to the metal bench beside the tub. (I sent Forgottenman photos of my crumpled, water-dotted original manuscript and he insisted I post it on my blog. If you are curious, see it HERE.) Once started, I didn’t want to stop so tonight I really did suffer for my art! I believe I finally couldn’t take it anymore and the last few lines were written inside. I was driven by the fact that the last two pieces I’ve written for dVerse were not accepted because although I started them before the deadline, by the time they were finished, the Mr. Linky would not accept them as the deadline had just closed. So this time, I was superstitious and wanted to get finished in time. Luckily, this time it worked. One day I need to figure out just how long the submission period is. I am terrible about such things.
Public Domain Illustration. The prompt was to write a poem about one of Dorothy’s three traveling companions from The Wizard of Oz. For dVerse Poets.
So true, ‘A heart, you have to grow.’ Beautiful.
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Thanks, Susan.
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I think this is one of your best!
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Thanks, fgtm. I always take your comments to heart.
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Your wrote this by flashlight in your cold hottub! I find that amazing.
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Where there’s a will…
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I expected it to be warmer, but once in, I fell subject to a sort of inertia as I figured the outside air was even colder than the water and I didn’t want to face it. This in addition to being intent on finishing the poem and not wanting to break my concentration.
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Beautifully done. Captures the character’s nature and offers a sound message
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Thanks, Derrick. Always nice to have someone on the other side of the world who is up to read these very late night/early morning posts!!l
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🙂
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A really intriguing ending twist! Made possible by such flexible English words. 🙂
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Thanks, Christine, and thanks to the millions of folks who made up all these words for us to use.
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Glad you got this one in, Judy. Well done
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Me, too. Frank just set me straight on submission dates and cutoff times.
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Please share – I have no idea.
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This is what Frank said to me: The dVerse submission period is usually 2 days except for the Monday one (quadrille or haibun) which lasts through the week. (I think the regular dVerse posts on Tuesday but his “usually” makes me think different people may post the prompt at different times. Let me know if you agree on the Tuesday date. That was the day it was posted on this week. I believe at 9 a.m.
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Prompts usually don’t show up here until 3 pm, Tuesday included. Thanks for keeping me in the loop. Really enjoy this group
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Although Mim seems to be the first entrant and her post says doors open at 3 p.m. EST. Let’s keep a watch and see when it closes. Sleuthery.
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Ha ha- love it
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Further word on that, V.J., from Frank: Tuesdays are for “Poetics” but we consider all of our prompts as regular prompts (Monday Haibuns alternated with the Quadrille, Tues. Poetics and Thurs. Meeting the Bar alternated with Open Link Night. Hope that clarifies it. (He gives no standard time.)
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Here is more:
Yes it is. All the prompts begin at 3 p.m. EST. 🙂
The Monday prompts continue as the Tues. and Thurs. prompts open, but you would then have to access them from the right margin. The Tues. prompt runs until Thurs…around noon or sometimes later that day. It’s best to post as early as possible as some people do not return to read the later posts, which is unfortunate. The Thurs. prompt may run into the weekend, I believe it closes on Saturdays. I hope this helps!
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This does help. I have been feeling pressured with all the prompts going, ended up dropping out of some
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Me, too. It has to be enjoyable.. not an assignment, yet I want to support all of the prompts done by friends. That’s why I combine four prompts into one. Ane, it pricks the imagination as well.
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I agree – I love the challenge. I am picking and choosing these days, now.
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The last message was from Mish.
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The dVerse submission period is usually 2 days except for the Monday one (quadrille or haibun) which lasts through the week. It is kind of a rush.
I like these lines: “When it rains, I rust apart
and so expose my lack of heart.” I especially liked these lines: “Once more, I pray to my creator,
to that great procrastinator.”
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Thanks, thanks, Frank. I was hoping someone would take pity on me and clarify re/ the cutoff point for dVerse Poets. Is the regular prompt always posted on Tuesday?
What I love about rhyming is that it exposes us to some thoughts we might otherwise not have. Thus the realization, for me, that to the tin man, his creator must seem like a procrastinator, since he didn’t get what he wanted no matter how many times he asked. I wonder how many people feel the same way about their own deity–blaming it on them instead of themselves? All that is obvious, I know, but something that I would not have thought of if I hadn’t been searching for a rhyme. That’s what keeps me on this rhyme and meter track, even though I know it isn’t a particularly popular one in the world of poetry. I like the challenge and the surprises. Glad to see you do as well.
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Tuesdays are for “Poetics” but we consider all of our prompts as regular prompts (Monday Haibuns alternated with the Quadrille, Tues. Poetics and Thurs. Meeting the Bar alternated with Open Link Night. Hope that clarifies it. 🙂
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Are they always posted at the same time? I thought this week’s was posted at 9 a.m. but Mim’s entry says doors open at 3 p.m. EST. V.J. is also confused about this and asked me to clarify it to her, so this is a chain! Thanks for clearing it up for both of us.
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Glad you got it in.
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Thanks, Dr. I’m glad I did, too.
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Judy, that was great. It made my heart flutter and rattle a little.
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Aw. You certainly don’t have a tin heart, Leland.
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Maybe that’s what’s happened to some of the things I write, not recognized by the “creator” of the challenge. Oh well, at least my followers see it.☺️
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This was a treat to read! You had me at the first two lines. I enjoyed the sound of a natural rhyme and how you captured the struggles of the Tin Man. A unique response to the prompt as he converses with his Creator.
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Thanks, Mish. Wanted to ask you a question about the timing of dVerse. On your Tuesday post, you said doors open at 3 p.m. E.S.T. Is this always when the prompts start?
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Yes it is. All the prompts begin at 3 p.m. EST. 🙂
The Monday prompts continue as the Tues. and Thurs. prompts open, but you would then have to access them from the right margin. The Tues. prompt runs until Thurs…around noon or sometimes later that day. It’s best to post as early as possible as some people do not return to read the later posts, which is unfortunate. The Thurs. prompt may run into the weekend, I believe it closes on Saturdays. I hope this helps!
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Thanks, Mish. I didn’t even know there were 3 prompts during the week. Given a couple of comments on my blog, I think a few other people are confused about when to post and have had work rejected because they posted too late. I wonder if it would help to post this information on your prompt pages? Just a suggestion. I’ll send it to the people who have said they were confused as well. Again, thanks for hearing our plea!
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And your side note about your poetic process was very entertaining! You were determined….haha.
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Yes. Trying to be less manic about it and was preparing for an event tomorrow so was trying to fit the writing into “convenient” times.
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Thank you for all your efforts! The end result was spectacular 😊
I love your handwritten notes and rhyming words in the margin. ❤️ I carry a journal with me when I don’t have a laptop handy and i have similar scribbles all through it.
Thanks for sharing.
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The punchline is so simple, yet so deep. Beautiful poem, Judy.
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Thanks, Dolly. When I first saw that prompt, I couldn’t imagine what I’d write about but it ended up being fun getting into the tin man.
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Correct me if I am wrong, but didn’t you first get into a bath tub?
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