My hair is thin and spiky and I snore when in repose.
There’s madness in my family and hair grows from my nose.
I don’t ignite great passion in every man who sees me.
Men from nine to ninety have no great urge to squeeze me.
And yet there’s one attraction that has aided me in life.
You may think I’m no one’s sweetheart and surely no man’s wife,
but I bake a wicked pie. My flan is so divine
that when I ask the suavest man to visit me and dine,
by the end of dinner, he lies prostrate at my feet,
and the frailest grandpa has been known to go in heat.
It is the oldest adage that the plainest girl can flummox
even the studdliest of men by seducing their stomachs!