I dedicate this poem to my ultimate chef friends Dolly
and Gordon, hard as it may be for them to bear.
Mac and Cheese
“Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat; stir in flour, salt, and pepper until smooth, about 5 minutes. Slowly pour milk into butter-flour mixture while continuously stirring until mixture is smooth and bubbling, about 5 minutes. Add Cheddar cheese to milk mixture and stir until cheese is melted, 2 to 4 minutes.”
I found the recipe on my Mac
for noodles swathed in creamy Jack.
I bought the cheese. Grated it up,
dreaming of when I would sup.
I was tenacious with the grater.
Nobody holds a cheese block straighter!
And I was forthright in each thrust,
for tiny cheese curls are a must.
I mixed the flour in melted butter,
watched the whole mess spit and sputter.
Added pepper, salt and flour.
Stirred for what seemed like an hour.
Added the milk in rapid whirls,
and then poured in the cheesy curls.
Round and and round and round it went.
Turned down the stove, turned on the vent.
Boiled the noodles until tender.
Then, when it was time to render
cheese to noodles, asked my crony
just to drain the macaroni.
But, as he was headed back,
his arm collided with my Mac,
flipping it into the cheese
with such artistry and ease
that for a moment it looked to me
as part of the whole recipe.
But cheese on Mac of Apple kind
is not quite what I had in mind.
My Mac expired in smoke and sparking.
Dogs ran in with joyful barking
to lap up congealing cheese
from counter, stove front, floor and knees.
Cheese, computer, pan and noodle—
I tossed the whole kit and kaboodle
out the window into the grass
where dogs and cats and ants en masse
ate their fill until they popped,
while I wiped and scoured and mopped.
(I doubt that you could find my match
at scrubbing up a cheesy patch.)
But if you need a recipe
for Mac and Cheese, don’t count on me.
Though boiling noodles I learned by heart,
I fear I flunked the whole “Mac” part.
Prompt words were match, forthright, tenacious and noodle. Here are links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/05/07/rdp-tuesday-match/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/05/07/fowc-with-fandango-forthright/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/05/07/your-daily-word-prompt-tenacious-may-7-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/05/07/noodle/
I actually did have a noodle disaster, transferring boiling noodles to a cullendar. Horrid mess of those slippery little buggers! I love your rhyming here!
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Thanks, Rugby.
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A staple part of the diet for many of my students in Florida
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Don’t we hope they don’t follow this recipe, but actually, it has made me hungry for it. Would you believe that I’ve never in my life actually made Mac and Cheese? Except, perhaps, from a Kraft box.
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Wow. I’ve never had it from a Kraft box :O This is the way I was taught to make it, exactly. I don’t make it very often, like not in years.
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With more success than this fictional character, I hope.
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Yep. All the cheese on my Mac so far is my own writing 😉
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;o)
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Too funny!!!!! Clever and entertaining! Love Mac and Cheese! Always… a big hit! 💙
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Nice piece, I am going to share (reblog) this one for you
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Reblogged this on Truth Troubles.
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Very funny and clever rhymes. My favorite Mac ‘n’ cheese is rotini noodles with chopped pickled jalapeños ( fresh aren’t as good for this) mixed with Cheez Whiz. Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it!
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Can’t take the jalapenos anymore,Eilene.
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So sorry.😢
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Heaps of fun in the poem. In the actual event… maybe not so much.
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Luckily, it was fictional. Just based on the pun.
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That looks a lot like the Mac & Cheese recipe I grew up with. Unfortunately, we ate so much of it during WWII that I could no longer stomach it — I’ve NEVER cooked it from any recipe!
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I don’t much either. I just add stuff until it tastes right.. with almost everything except baking, which is more chemical reaction based and which I rarely do.
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But I don’t even do that, because I know I won’t eat it! It’s like brussels sprouts!
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I don’t mean to mac and cheese. I’ve never cooked it. Except boxed when in college, perhaps.
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Oh, ok! I don’t do much cooking for myself any more, though I do enjoy it when I do!
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