A Recap of the Last Three Weeks by James Tabeek

Thanks to the “anonymous” reader who just let me know who wrote this. I had tried to track the person down who wrote this but there had been 2,000 shares from the source where I saw it by the time it got to me–evidently all without attribution. I now see that there have been approximately 8,000 more from his own Facebook siteI hate to print anything without attribution, but this was just too good not share, so I’m glad to now remedy this. Here is his Facebook site. Brilliant: https://www.facebook.com/james.tabeek

A RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait… what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

NEBRASKA: Whoa… whoa… let’s not be hasty now. The President said that this whole coronavirus thing is a Democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.

TEXAS: But the President said that we only have 15 cases and soon it’ll be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The President can’t count to fifteen nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the Tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

GEORGIA: Ok well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

CALIFORNIA: What about a dentist. Shut it down.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the Republican National Convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT… OK, fine, do what you want.

This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , on by .

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

16 thoughts on “A Recap of the Last Three Weeks by James Tabeek

  1. slmret

    I laughed all the way through this one, Judy — as sad as it is, it’s true! We’re still losing lots of people, but at least our curve is one of the flattest in the country!

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  2. ladynyo

    Judy…this is a black eye deserved by our states. Our governor in Georgia until this week claimed that he didn’t know that asymptomatic people could still transmit the virus. What stupidity, and this is the home of the CDC?? Jesus, you can’t even get a test for this virus without standing on your head. I love the last line about NC. LOL!!!!!

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        1. lifelessons Post author

          Thanks so much. I hate copying anything without attribution! Now will you tell me who you are so I know who I am thanking? I only see you as “anonymous.” I’ve now added his name to the post.

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          Reply

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