The Duchess’s Hair Comb

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The Duchess’s Hair Comb

In a very strong wind, in a leap of confusion,
a grasshopper staged an act of intrusion.
His leap took him higher than ever before
just as a visitor opened the door,
and he rocketed high over carpet and chair
to land in the dowager’s snowy white hair.
His illegal entry unplanned and unwitting,
he clung to her coiffure and he ceased his wild flitting.
As friend after friend arrived at her door,
each was given to say, “I simply adore
your new hair ornament. Is it vintage Lalique?
and they came a bit closer, the better to peek
at the grasshopper clinging within a stiff curl,
sprayed liberally so it wouldn’t unfurl.

The grand dame, a bit dotty and splendidly vain,
said over and over and over again,
“Yes, it is,” and bent over to pour out more tea.
Then she  settled again, with a cup on her knee.
As the gossip flowed on with nary a bleep,
the grasshopper settled and soon fell asleep.
By this means, he avoided a swat or a squashing
as all of the ladies continued their noshing.
They murdered each sandwich and cookie and cake,
never once taking note that her comb was a fake. 
And when the tea ended, he took a small ride
as his patron accompanied her guests all outside.
Then he took a great leap and was finally free
to luxuriate in his new liberty.

Not one person there knew the truth of the matter.
One guest told the tale to her favorite hatter
of the fabulous jewel the dowager wore
and the hatter relayed it to more and to more
of his customers, then asked the lady who wore it
if she would show him, so he, too, could adore it.
So she raided her vaults and her jewelry case,
but the jewel had vanished—was gone with no trace.
And the lady, known lately as vague and forgetful,
imagined great loss and grew angry and fretful.

She questioned her servants, then called the police,
but since she could find not a trace of the piece—
no receipts or photos or proofs of insurance—
the police could not give her any assurance
that they could recover it, and soon departed,
leaving the dowager so broken-hearted,
now convinced that this hair ornament was her favorite,
mourning the fact that no more could she savor it.
Thus goes the story that was handed down
among the servants and all over town.
It went down in history as a grand theft
that left the grand duchess sorely bereft.
While down in the garden,  hearty and hale,
her purloined jewel calmly munched on her kale.

Prompt words today are carpet, rocket, garden, intrusion and illegal.

19 thoughts on “The Duchess’s Hair Comb”

    1. lifelessons Post author

      Thanks so much. I guess they are like storybooks for adults. Perhaps I should get them illustrated. ha. I just talked to my children’s book illustrator about possibly doing some adult books. I was thinking poetry with his adult illustrations..But perhaps this would be fun–to do an actual adult story book. Probably a crazy idea, but fun.

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  4. slmret

    I love this, Judy — it’s definitely one for a book of adult picture/story book! Having grown up in a rather proper English household, I can actually imagine this happening, and your characters’ reactions are wonderful!

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. Anna Sime

    I think this is hilarious. I keep smiling now long after the first reading. I’d like this in a children’s illustrated book. I can imagine sitting on a big chair with a child on my lap while I read out loud this delightful story.

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      Anna.. I am considering making a line of adult storybook/coloring books. (The illustrations would be line drawings suitable for coloring.) What do you think of the idea? This would be the first one and the themes, like this one, would be more suitable for adults than children.

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      Thanks, Christine. I am working on a line of storybook/coloring books for adults which illustrate some of these poems. Do you think it would work? I’d print the books next to the illustrations to color–sometimes one per poem or othertimes a number of illustrations for each poem.

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