March 7

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March 7

Measures taken for my comfort are way beyond the norm.
My sofa is commodious, my blanket snug and warm.
I’ve opened up the damper and lit a cheerful fire.
The coffee table’s covered with things I might desire:
snacks both sweet and savory, a small flask of gin,
bottles of iced tonic for me to put it in,
magazines and books on tape installed upon my phone.
I’ll barely have to stir now that I’m left alone.

Yet, all these creature comforts won’t make up for a world
where there is not another loving body curled
at the sofa’s other end. Perfection is perverse
when I have not another with whom I may converse.
The hottest fire is lukewarm, though it may crack and spark.
Its brightest flame does nothing to dispel the dark.
I’ve been more years without you now than those we spent together.
I’ve built a life and learned to live without a secure tether.

Other loves fill in a part of what you took away,
and yet when I remember, on this our wedding day,
how you might have been here had fate not removed you,
I wonder if this new life we had planned would have behooved you.
What life takes away it fills in with other pleasures.
It does no good to rail against all those severe measures
it takes to move us on into new lives that we choose
to compensate for all the old loves that we lose.

Exactly 34 years ago, we chose to follow heart.
Then 15 years later, our pathways split apart.
You began your new adventure, though not the one we’d planned,
while only I pursued our dream in this foreign land.
Though anniversaries weren’t our thing, a friend thinks to remind me,
and for once our wedding date I cannot put behind me.

 

Please click on photos to enlarge them.

For all but one of our 15 years together, Bob and I forgot our anniversary and on the one year we celebrated it, we later found out we’d celebrated it on the wrong day. I’ve told of this before, and this year, as usual, I would have forgotten it if Forgottenman (ironically) had not reminded me that it was Bob’s and my wedding anniversary date. Somehow, that reminder and the prompt words led to this poem being written. And, I had to light a little candle at a shrine constructed to commemorate our wedding day. The plans to move to Mexico, by the way, were mutual ones. Sadly, Bob passed away before we could move into the house we had purchased there. This is the house I’ve lived in for the past 20 years.

Prompt words today are blanket, article, lukewarm, commodious and world. And for dVerse Poets Open Link Night

37 thoughts on “March 7”

    1. lifelessons Post author

      Yes, it was just as I hoped it would be. Except for the corsages. Remember? I’d had them made for all of the female guests, stipulating they should not use any carnations. Of course, they ended up using only carnations!

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      2. lifelessons Post author

        Yes, I’ve noticed that… and both of you so loving and supportive of your stepfather. It is wonderful to have a sibling to both support and be supported by.

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      3. lifelessons Post author

        Mary, Patti persuaded me to come to Phoenix to have my vaccinations shots. She even made the appointment and booked the airline…changing my reservation to Business class because I was using airmiles and it was only 500 more. Now that is sisterly devotion. I have come to absolutely hate making reservations and doing tasks other than blogging on the internet.. It’s as though that part of my mind has fogged over. Scary..

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      Can’t believe that it was 20 years ago that he died and so many wonderful things have happened since then. Still, there are these flashes of regret now and then. Life is made up of this. Today it is fond remembering, not crushing sadness.

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  11. slmret

    I have lived alone for 55 years now — and there are still some times when I have longings for others — mostly I don’t remember, but we all enjoy the closeness of others with fond memories. The crushing sadness is normal too, but it is softened in time with the new memories one makes along the way. ‘m glad you’ve had such a great life since then, and have been able to overcome the crushing sadness 🙂 ❤

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          1. slmret

            55 years was a long time ago — it did shape my life, but it was so long ago that it’s no longer a part of my life. We lived in Seattle — I returned to Southern California alone 55 years ago, and built a life of my own that basically revolved around a strong enough career to support myself. That involved several moves, and several job changes, but always within California.

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  12. Linda Crosfield

    Love the poem, Judy, and the pictures—well, after 34 years the sparks between you in that one with the champagne flutes are there to see for anyone who’s ever been in love. So Happy Almost Always Forgotten Anniversary!

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