Keeping Abreast
If I were made the ruler of
this universe I rue and love,
the one thing I would not let “be”
is the force of gravity
in respect to just one issue.
Namely––my mammary tissue!
For, though you may feel dubious,
each year, I grow more boobious!
I do not like them hanging there
where once they used to thrust the air.
Where once each strained against its cup,
It seems like now they’ve given up.
Listless and flat, downward they droop.
Sad Sack replaces Betty Boop.
They have no personality.
They’ve lost elasticality!
The result is truly tragic,
so this is why I need some magic.
Please, gods of nature, give a cure.
There must be some way to inure
my breasts from force of gravity.
Now that I rule, hear my plea!
Tell gravity that it is best
to loose its hold upon each breast
so they are perky once again,
thrusting out below my chin
instead of hanging in two vees
somewhere down around my knees!
Restore my pride. Dispel my frown.
I want them hanging out, not down!
Is it cheating that this is a poem I wrote six years ago? More true now than then!!!!
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
Oh did that give me a (sad) chuckle, Judy. This part, priceless:
“Where once each strained against its cup,
It seems like now they’ve given up.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh wow you made my day
divulging everything you had to say~!
This one goes into my keeper file
along side my attempts by a country mile.
But truth must now just stay with me
disclosing things about my anatomy.
Which in the past was firm and sound,
now just seems to be hanging down.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Guess that’s true with each gender.
LikeLike
I read with a smile and occasional laugh Judy 🙂
LikeLike
Haha — very cleverly done, Judy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this rhyme:
For, though you may feel dubious,
each year, I grow more boobious!
What a fun poem, Judy.
(Do I identify? yes I do.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your sense of humor, Judy.
LikeLike
Haha! It sure is a predicament
LikeLike
Not cheating – still fun (sadly)
LikeLike
This sounds like a good start to a new Dr. Seuss book. The Cat in the Hat and the Pendulous Predicament of the Bountiful Dubious Boobius. First I need to switch from this coffee stuff. Happy Friday…
LikeLike
Ha. I’m doing an adult coloring book with each illustration accompanied by a funny retirement poem. Perhaps this would fit right in.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love it! Many of us can relate, unfortunately! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Whew, I can relate. I love this tongue in cheek poem. Thanks for joining us.
LikeLike
;o)
LikeLike
I am not going to stop laughing for quite a while ~~~ this is classic!
LikeLike
Love to leave you laughing, Helen!
LikeLike
LOL! 😀 I love this. I know exactly how you feel. Gravity has not been my friend either.
LikeLike
Judy, you made me smile. So honest and humorous — and wonderful rhyming. I don’t have the exactly same issue, but now at 74, my 6-pack has turned into a pony keg. Guess there is always cosmetic surgery, but personally, I don’t give a damn. Like Popeye — I yam wad I jam! 😉
LikeLike
We love you for your mind, anyway, Rob…
LikeLike
Love the pony keg quip, by the way.
LikeLike
This is incredibly exquisite! You portray the predicament so well!
LikeLike
Ha..
LikeLike