Judy’s Note: This story of loss was sent to me via email with the request that I post it on the blog:

“One person provided me with many losses and no immediate death. When

death did come years later, I was not told and so I lost again. Then
there was no grave and I lost a chance again to find some kind of peace.
It took me five years to, not only get over the death, but to get over
asking all the “why” questions.

My father left when I was 13. I lost all chance of having a complete
family. I had uncomfortable and disturbing encounters off and on after that.

When he died no one told me for a year, and I lost the chance to say
hello and goodbye. He instructed people to tell no one he died.

There was no grave, he was not buried and I don’t know what happened to
his ashes. I lost the chance to pour out my emotions somewhere.

I spent 5 confusing years asking a lot of why?? questions, until one day
someone told me I’d never know and that finally helped me to heal.

The real healing began and ended when I was able to forgive him.”

Violet