Category Archives: Retorts

Retired (For Daily Prompt: Clock)

Disclaimer: Naughty word implied in this poem. Do not read if easily offended.

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Retired

Mr. Clock, Mr. Clock,
though your advances I try to block,
my attempts you seem to mock
with your continuous tic tic toc,
echoed by my neighbor’s cock
crowing from his noisome flock.

No longer cheerleaders or jocks,
nor femmes fatale with flowing locks,
in Birkenstocks, flip flops or Crocs,
(worn in the winter complete with socks)
we huddle safe behind our locks,
afraid of terrorists with glocks
or neighbors’ children tossing rocks.

We hear your phone calls and your knocks,
we know you gather in your flocks,
your PTAs and your ad hocs,
while each of us sits in our box
as stubborn as a mule or ox,
busy in our painters’ smocks
or cooking spinach in our woks.

Our homes all sealed up like Ft. Knox,
we have no need of the world’s shocks,
its pestilence and chicken pox.
We have our pensions and our stocks,
our Lean Cuisines in our ice box.
We shun your CNN or Fox!!!

Our TV sets set to the past
neglect to show the latest blast
as all the world seems set to cast
Armageddon, coming fast.
So as you watch the latest drone
on your notebook or your phone,
as you predict and hate and moan,
please leave us the f— alone!

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/clock/

ON STRIKE!!!!!!!

The Prompt: Absolute Beauty—Do you agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder or is all beauty contingent on a subjective point of view?

ON STRIKE!!!!

I am tired of being asked to agree or disagree with the obvious!  Things said a million times over? What is the need of saying them again? What difference can it possibly make for me to agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder? I might as well say bread is white or the ocean is wide. Who needs to hear this again? Who needs to hear this again? See? You are already tired of hearing it and I’ve only said it twice. I am a card-carrying opponent of the trite, the platitude, the obvious. And so in protest I am not answering today’s prompt. Long live originality. Reward offered for an original prompt.

Wise Thoughts Unsaid and Unremembered

Wise Thoughts Unsaid and Unremembered

The perfect reply that I hadn’t yet thought of
but figured out later? I have had a lot of;
but the problem is that now they still can’t be gotten,
for though once I had them, I now have forgotten!

It’s true that great retorts are jewels in the crown,
but truer that one has to write them all down!
And it’s best that you write them down lickety-splickly,
for though they come slowly, they seem to go quickly!


The Prompt:  We’ve all had exchanges where we came up with the perfect reply—ten minutes too late. Tell us what it was, being sure to sign off with your grand slam unused zinger!