Kids say immaturity is not all it’s cracked up to be. First, they have no salary, and as of yet, ice cream’s not free, so they depend on you and me to determine when ice cream will be!
We tell them not to climb that tree and put restrictions on TV. We tell them that they have to pee on potty chairs, not Grandpa’s knee. We tell them they must walk, then see each lurch and fall and laugh with glee.
Imagine notoriety based on what one’s foibles be. Kids’ natural spontaneity— their need to roughhouse, smash and flee is often quashed, you will agree, with all those in authority!
It’s tough to be a kid, you see, given their great temerity. So grant a bit of charity. Recognize the disparity between what we’d like kids to be and their genetic heredity!
I’ll admit, it’s been a while since I walked a crocodile, so my technique is rather rusty and my memory is dusty. Still, I’ll tell you if you sit awhile how not to walk a crocodile!
Don’t walk him through the butcher shop. The butcher will just call a cop. Don’t visit bakeries at all. His roar will cause the cakes to fall. That store where Mother bought her dress? No place to walk your croc, I’d guess.
And though your pet may need some air, it’s best that you don’t take him where small dogs are left out for our viewing just right for crocodile chewing. Dog parks do not work for crocs Find a new place for your walks.
Don’t walk him on your grandma’s floor. She’ll sweep you both right out the door. Don’t take him to your Sunday School. He’s sure to break the Golden Rule. And if you take him to the deli, no saying what ends in his belly.
I’ll share a secret with you now. It is, I really don’t know how to take a crocodile for a walk. All of this has just been talk. And can I guess by your big smile, you do not have a crocodile?
I guess it was the recent sighting of a croc on the beach at night that sent this little ditty rushing into my head this morning. I would love to have someone illustrate this. Anyone want to try? Send a sketch of your vision of the croc in one of the given situations. You can either email it to me or put it on your blog and send me a link! Here’s a photo of the croc that was on the beach near the house I rent. You could see my house in the background if it were light! Photo by Susana Vijaya. (She estimated the croc to be 3 meters long!)
Update: If you’re not ready to leave croc world yet, here’s an oldie but goodie. (Thanks to Marilyn for the memory jog.)
When wind howls like a banshee to fill the dark night air and monsters lurk in closets or in creakings up the stair, when your brother knows they’re out there––these creatures he can’t see, when nightmares wake you up at night and you have to pee but daren’t leave your bed in fear those creatures will come “getcha” (all those night-born monsters that come out at night to fetch ya,) or when sister wets the bed again and seeks a drier nest, for lying on her soggy sheets, she knows she’ll never rest–– it’s times like these when all the kids form a small tribunal and determine that their parents’ bed should be declared communal.
Caught in baby’s neck creases, clinging to Grandpa’s cuff, escaped from Mr. Teddy are these little bits of fluff. These airborne little clumps of fuzz go anywhere they please. They catch in Daddy’s nose hairs, causing him to sneeze. They wind up in the pancakes–an artistic swirl of blue. A few of them are tracked outside under Billy’s shoe. When he climbs onto the school bus, they go along with him, and everywhere that Mommy goes, to grocery store or gym, a piece of Teddy comes along to be left behind somewhere in the wide wide world, but he doesn’t mind. He has so many fluffy parts that he can share a few. And when you come to visit, you can take some home with you!!
Yoli is my housekeeper’s adorable little girl. She loves to sing but even more, she loves her new puppy who is named after a character in a racing movie that was played by Paul Newman. Because she is crazy about cars, she is also crazy about Paul Newman. Funny, for a little Mexican girl, but who can blame her? I always was, too. Here are some shots of her and her new little Chihuahua whose name evades me. Something like Jack. If you know the movie, you can remind me.
(Click on first photo and then arrows to enlarge them all.)
