Category Archives: Humor

No Head for Business

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No Head for Business

I fear I must be adamant in stating my demands.
In this I am unshakeable. My initial sales price stands.
I do not like this bargaining. I find it all a chore.
I’d rather be off wandering. Business is a bore.
And though I must admit that your demeanor is most affable,
your offer is too little. In fact I find it laughable.
It will do no good to counter offer. I’m set on the price
that would reimburse me for leaving paradise.

I have no bottom offer. This is no power game.
To nickel and to dime it is a practice I find lame.
The palm trees are all swaying, there’s hot water in the pool,

and the more I think about it, I see that I’m a fool
to leave this little Shangri-la. Where would I find its sequel?
It’s clear that for the price I ask I could not find its equal!
Here swinging in my hammock with a cocktail and my pup,
I am so contented that my sales price just went up!!

Prompt words today were chore, affable, adamant and power.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/18/rdp-friday-chore/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/18/fowc-with-fandango-affable/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/18/your-daily-word-prompt-adamant-january-18-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/18/power/

The Perfectionist

The Perfectionist

Change not a hair of thy fair head if it be for me.
I like you just as you are now from pate to chin to knee.
Your shins, though, are too shinny. Your ankles too well-turned.
Your heels? Shockingly callused. Consider yourself spurned.

For the dVerse Poets Quadrille Challenge.

Ta Ta

images-1                                                jdbphoto

Ta Ta

It’s an exquisite loss, your going away,
and it’s also timely, I’m given to say.
You may find it inane that I’m saved while you’re lost,
but it’s true that some friendships come at a cost.
You’ve departed, it’s clear. This I so plainly see,
but your leaving has given me something back: me!

 

Prompt words today are timely, inane, lost and exquisite.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/rdp-sunday-timely/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/13/fowc-with-fandango-inane/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/your-daily-word-prompt-lost-january-13-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/13/exquisite/

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

* jdbphoto

An Ode to the Annoyingly Ebullient

Her ebullient nature sometimes seemed a little cloying.
Others less endowed with cheer could find it most annoying.
It seemed that her ambition was to slipcover the earth
with a shell of levity—a monologue of mirth.
That others didn’t seem to have her appetite for humor
based on romance serials and hearsay and on rumor
didn’t seem to faze her. Her allusions’ rarity
coupled with her seeming lack of storytelling clarity
fazed her not a bit. Though no one else seemed to be buying it,
she kept on unrelentingly with her “pie in the sky” ing it.

 

But, there is hope. Click on the below arrow to learn more:

 

Prompt words today are ebullient, ambition, clarity and appetite. Here are the links:

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/rdp-wednesday-ebullient/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/09/fowc-with-fandango-ambition/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/your-daily-word-prompt-clarity-january-9-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/09/appetite/

Menagerie

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Menagerie

When she asked us to sleep over, we had no trepidation,
but this one-night segment of our motoring vacation
was a lapse in judgment we will not soon forget,
for though we are assuredly most deeply in her debt,

we didn’t know the bed she offered came complete with pets
not to mention wild creatures struggling overhead in nets!
We can forgive her for the kitten who just curled up on our bed,
sometimes on the foot of it and sometimes at the head.

The puppy, though mischievous, we grew accustomed to,
only suffering damage to a purse strap and one shoe.
Successful in their recovery, we sealed our luggage up,
opened up our bedroom door and exorcised the pup.

Flipping off the  light, we offered gratitude for rest,
closed our weary eyes and did our very best
to try to get a full night’s sleep, but it was late in coming,
for our next visitation came complete with constant drumming

as various creatures of the night knocked against the netting
hanging down around our bed, we commenced regretting
accepting her generous offer of a free night’s lodging.
We didn’t know the various creatures we’d be dodging.

The monkey we grew used to, but not the kangaroo
who boxed my husband’s earlobes and trod upon my shoe.
The cockatoos and lorikeets slept peaceful through the night,
but in the morning wakened us at the dawn’s first light

with such a loud cacophony that jolted us awake
and luckily allowed us to leave before the snake
slithered  from where it rested, coiled beneath the sheet.
And that was it! That final guest signaled our defeat.

For though we have great gratitude for the invitation,
I cannot overemphasize the complete jubilation
we felt upon exiting that jungle she calls home.
And need we tell you that the next time we choose to roam,

we’ll gladly pay the room rates for a first-class lodgings?
We’re finished with the hassles and the terrors and the dodgings
that come with staying with relatives such as sister Sue
who forgot to warn us we’d be staying in a zoo!!

 

The prompt words today were hospitality, forgive, recovery and gratitude.

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/rdp-friday-hospitality/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/04/fowc-with-fandango-forgive/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/your-daily-word-prompt-recovery-January-4-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/04/gratitude/

New Again

 

 

New Again

So, one more number to remember
now that we’ve escaped December.
Drop an eight and add a nine.
So far, I am doing fine.

But I can’t anticipate
what will come to be my fate.
Will I be skinnier or bolder?
What new duties will I shoulder?

What new enigma to be pursued?
Will I be shunned? Will I be wooed?
What new Kardashian of late
will they want me to emulate?

I cannot predict anything.
No telling what the year will bring.
All its mystery is free
and that is simply fine with me.

No resolutions will I make.
Whatever comes, I’ll simply take.
Cross my fingers, cross my toes
and hope its pleasures outweigh its woes.

This year will spin out as it will
Until we all have had our fill,
and just when we feel we’ve had plenty,
it will change to 2020! 

https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/01/01/anticipate/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/01/01/fowc-with-fandango-enigma/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/01/01/resolutions/