Category Archives: Humor

Turn about Does Not Play Fair

Turn about Does Not Play Fair

If your social popularity has wandered off the track,
here’s a little good advice to help you get it back.
Practice your endurance. Listen when friends tell
all those oft-heard stories, even though you know them well.
But don’t expect the same from them when they show inattention
with each repeated story that you are going to mention.
Your stories retold more than once lack the fascination
of their latest version of their favorite rumination.

Prompt words today are go, social, track, endurance and listen.
This photo used for illustrative purposes only. In no way is this poem actually about these two lovely women.

The Temp in Accounting

The Temp in Accounting

His prospects of affluence seem to be shrinking
in direct proportion to what he’s been drinking.
Lately it seems that the hours he’s been working
are less than the hours that he has been shirking
his tasks of the day. When we look at his history,
I must admit it’s a bit of a mystery
why they’ve retained him for even this long,
for he’s more attached to his lighter and bong
than he is to his actuarial tables.
His financial projections?  Primarily fables.
In short, his behavior is simply pubescent
and prospects of tenure likely evanescent.
When the boss went to find this latest young bloke,
he found he’d stepped out for his hourly toke.
All in all, I think I’m not amiss in projecting
 he’ll be more temporary than he was expecting.

 

Prompts today are evanescent, history, prospect, affluent and working.

Love Prone

Love Prone

His heartfelt joy was palpable. His maelstrom of affection
spread throughout his body—a beneficent infection.
And yet he was resilient when his lover proved untrue.
He simply found another girl and fell in love anew!

Prompt words for today are maelstrom, palpable, heartfelt and resilient.

The Dress

The Dress

She was blithe of nature and at the harvest dance,
men both young and aged straightened at her advance.
Noting her graceful movements across the grange hall floor,
the men all watched the flowings of the summer dress she wore.

Though the women called it skimpy, men found the dress divine
as it lifted out around her when they passed her down the line,
and as she was dipped and glided,
more than just a few collided.

So were girlfriends’ natures tested and marriage vows stretched thin
as boyfriends, partners, spouses contemplated sin
watching that skirt’s movements, its gentle falls and flow
as it swirled out around her with every do-si-do.

 

 

Prompt words today are skimpy, advance, nature and blithe. Photo is a detail from a photo by Amy Kate on Unsplash. Used with permission.

Fresh Produce

 

 

Fresh Produce

I lived in an era before eggplant or Swiss chard,
with fruit that mainly grew up from our own back yard.
Cherries and strawberries. Watermelon. Plums.
No passionfruit or mangoes passed across our gums.
One day avocados would become a revelation.
Papayas and fresh guavas discovered on vacation.
But artichokes back then were thought the product of the devil.
We kept our veggies smooth and round and strictly on one level.
Exchange with foreign countries back then was truly rare.
So many foods from far off climes we’d had no chance to dare.
These days all our grocery stores are filled with all this stuff,
but long ago potatoes, beans and carrots were enough!!

 

Prompt words today are eggplant, exchange, devil and revelation.

Eleventh Hour

Eleventh Hour

It’s true the groom was old and gray,
a cane or walker his mainstay,
and the one he called his child bride
was just as tall as she was wide.

Her bathing schedule so erratic,
she was rather aromatic,
but since he’d lost his sense of smell,
they were suited very well.

If they had cause to take a journey,
he’d simply push her in a gurney
in lieu of walker. It worked well.
Her needs and his were seen to gel.

Centuries later, folks will recall
the evening of their wedding ball.
The dance they chose was rock and roll—
as practical as it was droll.

He rocked, she rolled, then one dance done,
he wheeled her off to have some fun.
For the groom, so aged and furry
was nonetheless in a great hurry

to address their wedding bed.
Fearing that he’d soon be dead,
he rolled his roly poly mate
out of the ballroom, through the gate,

down the hall and  to their room,
an act, I fear, that sealed his doom,
for once his ardor was diminished,
alas, the groom’s long life was finished.

But in the end? A bit of magic,
for the ending was not tragic.
Nine months later his game was won
when posthumously, he had a son!!!

Prompt words are aromatic, century, journey, mainstay and wide