The ceremony for Eduardo and Nina was full of the loving thoughts of friends, details about their lives given from many perspectives, a few tears but even more laughter from remembering the good times. It was only on the road home that the contrasts in the peaceful happy setting I saw around me and the events of a week before hit me. The first lines of this poem ran over and over again through my thoughts and I had to pull over by the side of the road and write this poem. Part of me wonders if it is exploitative to write about this sad event, but I’ve found that many of my writer friends who were friends of Nina and Eduardo have been driven to do the same. It is as though I no longer know how to think about things unless I do so through my writing or my art. Somehow, the only way to process a hard truth of life is to make use of it creatively and to try to create a message that makes sense even though the deed never will.
After the Ceremony: Driving Home
The streets are filled
With ice cream and cerveza
and the wildly patterned legs
of senoritas.
It is a day
of sunlight and red flowers
and fuschia flowers and blue.
A slight wind
strums the swaying branches
of the palms,
but no other sounds
compete with the passing hum
of oncoming traffic streaming
from the city to our shores,
seeking safety, quiet,
the gentle lap of water against willow,
hypnotic bobbing of the pelicans
between the undulating liria––
a lazy day away
from the cares of urban life.
I pull to the side of the road to watch
these visitors to our world.
Have they not heard or
have they just forgotten
the breaking glass,
the knife, the club,
the red screams
slicing the midnight air?
The ones who were the screamers
are very quiet now––
part of the calmness
of this afternoon.
Their darkness
is dispersed by sunlight.
Yet all of their fear and pain––
the terror of their leaving––
now gone from them,
is kept like a souvenir
within the hearts of friends
whose turn it is to remember
for a while what we, too,
had forgotten.
Our happy world
lies like a blanket
over a bed made messy
by pain and loss.
It is the world’s bed,
and deny it as we will,
we all have lain in it
and will again.
–Judy Dykstra-Brown February 24, 2014