Just Desserts

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Just Desserts

Was my brother ornery or was he merely dumb?
Once he told me rubber bands were a new sort of gum
that didn’t blow good bubbles, but at least you could rechew it,
saving you the money of having to renew it.

Given any option, he was bound to choose the crazy one,
and if the choice involved some work, sure to choose the lazy one.
He always had ideas about how to do work faster,
and without exception, they resulted in disaster.

Like the time he used Dad’s blowtorch to trim all of our trees,
not taking into full account the briskness of the breeze
and set the house on fire, slightly singing the outside,
and when the firetrucks arrived, he asked them for a ride!

Once when men came to fix the roof, I heard the kitty mewing
and knew at once there was a chance that more mischief was brewing.
Whatever put it in his head to waterproof the cat
by dipping it from tail to neck in the tarring vat?

He’d do things like putting red ants inside my skirt,
and when my folks weren’t watching, he’d spit on my dessert,
then eat the rest himself when I asked to leave the table.
He found ways to torment me whenever he was able.

Entertainment such as this was what amused my brother,
giving ulcers to my dad and white hairs to my mother.
But growing up with brother turned out fortunate for me,
for he gave a clear pattern of what I shouldn’t be.

And now that I have kids myself to tend and love and cook for,
I have a sure advantage, for I know just what to look for.
I see things with my brother’s eye and remove such temptations
that might lead to misdirections in their moral educations.

And as for my brother’s childhood deportment flaws,
just desserts were finally served. I know this because
fate dished out the punishment for his childhood errors
by giving him two sons that I hear are holy terrors!

Prompt words today are waterproof, idea, head, ornery and option.

18 thoughts on “Just Desserts”

  2. Unknown's avatarAnonymous

    At first I was thinking that you got your information about me from my sisters, but then the last part did not happen, even if they may have said that it did, and the fire was to burn the grass on our two acre front yard because I did not want to cut it with a hand push mower, and when it got close to the propane tank, I did run up and down yelling, until she called the fire department, baking soda and vinegar bombs are actually dangerous if you don’t throw them far enough, the tar that drips out of the power poles is better to chew than rubber bands, even if it is poison, Elephant Ear Plant looks a lot like sugarcane but taste terrible (according to my sister). etc. On the off chance that the laws of incrimination may still apply to me, I will not divulge other things for for my own protection~! When I told her that she “hesitated” on the porch, she cried for hours, but not as bad as when I told her that she had “ancestors”. Not my fault that she believed everything I said. Country boys have the most fun~!

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  6. Marlapaige's avatarMarlapaige

    He was a boy and they always come up with creative ways to drive everyone around them insane. If two people are lucky enough to be blessed with 3 daughters, 1 of them (hi there!) will end up being creative and drive everyone insane.

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      1. Marlapaige's avatarMarlapaige

        Oh I know I did. I raised holy Caine. But it made me creative. I still think outside the box for good or bad. And sometimes I burn the house down, but sometimes I just save 20 minutes ✌🏻

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