Author Archives: lifelessons

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

Cat Burglars – Breaking & Entering

Cat Burglars – Breaking & Entering.

Kitten Break-In Artists

The four tiny kittens dropped at my doorstep were of huge distress to my 17 year old cat, so as soon as they were old enough for shots, spaying and neutering, they became outside cats, with their own luxury cathouse as well as a huge cushy bed in the garage. The old cat chose to remain permanently inside, with her litter tray in my shower. I used the guest room shower. This drove the kittens mad, however, and they continually plotted on how to gain re-admittance to my house. In this video, they had removed one of the glass slats on the master bedroom’s bathroom window–not an easy task as there were bars on the outside of it and a screen fastened by metal rivets into the wall. The slats were held by spring-action long metal clamps and were hard for even me to remove. But, where there are determined kittens, there is a way. When I heard the ruckus, I had to come view it and returned with camera, never thinking they would succeed.

I have been looking for the video for a year, fearing it was lost when I switched over to a new computer.  Then, yesterday, I found it on a thumb drive.  Couldn’t wait to share it with you!

Overdue

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Overdue

My Auntie tends to use me for
those sorts of tasks she must abhor.
Thus was it yesterday that she
sent me to the library.

Just the name of the last book
she’d borrowed was all I took.
This is the message I relayed:
“This book return will be delayed.

I finished it in record time,
and yes, I found the book sublime,
but then I fear it made a hit
with another who’s not through with it.

He found my Inside Daisy Clover
and found the need to chew it over.
I know that it’s a red hot seller.
All the reviews find it stellar.

I know that countless folks have read it,
the borrower’s sheet in front has said it.
In fact, I find the cover worn,
the binding weak, the pages torn.

And so I’d like to buy a new
copy to return to you.
So, just renew the book once more
’til I can get out to the store.

My family member must finish it,
but I fear he’ll diminish it
until it is unheedable.
Already, it’s barely readable.!

The library was most compliant,
and once again, my aunt reliant
on my finding a new book
to replace the one our puppy took!

 

The poem is fiction, but the photos depict a true story of when Morrie was a new puppy  a couple of years ago.

The prompt words today are book, extra, renew and delayed. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/24/rdp-wednesday-book/
FOWC with Fandango — Extra
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/24/your-daily-word-prompt-renew-april-24-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/24/delayed/

The Gawkey and Flaybottomist, NaPoWriMo 2019, Apr 24

“The Gawkey and Flaybottomist—Who Should Have Stopped When First They Kissed”

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I guess when I chose to use the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue  from my own bookshelf, I should have realized that at least 1/2 of the terms would involve sexual innuendo. Nonetheless, I decided to proceed. I must warn you that the following poem is a bit risqué, so please avoid reading it if rude language offends thee!

The 16 terms I used and their definitions are given after the poem. If you wish, you might want to read them before the poem, or you can try to follow context clues to discover their meaning on your own:

 

“The Gawkey and Flaybottomist—Who Should Have Stopped When First They Kissed”

I predict the cross patch and the flaybottomist
are the sort of women least likely to be kissed.
The first’s so busy grumbling that the kiss never connected,
while the second merely thinks of how the kiss may be corrected.

Now, there was an awkward village boy excessively unworldly,
that on one occasion had acted most absurdly
by planting a fast buss upon his teacher’s nearby cheek
then since he was both young and shy, he beat a fast retreat.

The following week when mellow, he thought he’d try again—
His amorous nature brought out by much congress with his gin.
He desired a bit of relish, and the gin made him a fool
So he took his gaying instrument up to the village school.

I fear he was a gawkey–the worst that you might meet,
and he tripped over his crab shells as he stumbled up the street.
The roaring boys pursued him, thinking they would later cackle
leaking all the secrets of where gawkey stowed his tackle.

Upon his knock, the school teacher opened up the door,
attired in her negligee–and I fear nothing more.
She greeted him with Friday-face, but he took little note,
for he was practicing the lines that he had learned by rote.

The teacher was a dumplin and her suitor tall and thin,
yet when she heard his practiced plea, I fear she let him in.
But what he didn’t know then, as he quenched his carnal thirst
was that on that night of visitors, he was not the first.

The reason our flaybottomist had greeted him ungowned,
clad only in her negligee and with her hair unwound,
was because the French instructor had been there to give instruction—
a fact that I fear later led to misery and destruction.

For her tutor left her Frenchified, which she passed to the gawkey,
who took his French leave quickly, feeling a good deal less cocky.
The moral of this little tale—at least the one you’ll get?
Things are apt to get sticky when you’re the teacher’s pet!

 

Words from the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue used in this poem:

*crab shells:  Irish, shoes
*gawkey: a tall, thin, awkward man or woman
*gaying instrument: the penis
*cross patch: a peevish boy or girl, an unsocial or ill-tempered man or woman
*relish: carnal connection with a woman
*cackle or leaky: to blab or reveal secrets
*roaring boy: a noisy, riotous fellow
*flaybottomist: a schoolteacher
*mellow: almost drunk
*dumplin: a short thick man or woman
*tackle:  a man’s genitals
*Friday-face:  a dismal countenance (Friday being a day of abstinence.)
*French leave: to go off without taking leave of the company
*Frenchified: infected with venereal disease.
*Negligee: a woman’s undressed gown,
*buss: a kiss “kissing and bussing differ both in this, We busse our wantons,
but our wives we kisse! (Robert Herrick, “Hesperides,” 1648) from buss, 1570.

The NaPoWriMo prompt is to write a poem influenced by a reference book. This poem was actually written for a similar NaPoWriMo prompt three years ago and I know the point is to write a poem a day, but since I always write another poem a day anyway making use of four prompts, and will do so today, I reckon this isn’t cheating.

Last Little Piggy Goes To Market


Last Little Piggy Goes To Market

I am the littlest piggy, and when I commenced to roam,
why did I cry “Wee wee wee” all the long way home?
My sibling went to market and I followed along.
The path was rough and winding–as steep as it was long.

My little legs were tired, yet I followed close behind––
I wondered if he knew that I was following if he’d mind.
My family never let me go hardly anywhere,
so market piqued my interest. I wondered what was there.

I asked my other siblings if they wouldn’t like to try it,
but one was into his roast beef, the other on a diet.
She said she would be tempted by the pastries and the candy.
This was enough to convince me this market was a dandy.

When we crested the final hill and rounded the last bend,
the market spread out for so far, I couldn’t see its end.
Booth after booth was set up to sell its chosen fare.
My head swung fast from side to side to see all that was there.

Buttons, bolsters, bumbershoots and books with songs or riddles.
Little dainty donuts with whipped cream in their middles.
Tinkertoys and rubber balls and cricket bats and kites.
My eyes could not keep up with all these delicious sights.

I lost sight of my brother, but I didn’t care.
I was too busy ogling all this varied fare.
My tummy started rumbling. Ice cream, cakes and pies.
I wished that I could put my mouth where I had put my eyes.

But then I stopped to look at a very curious rig
and a big sign that said “Barbecue—what? Barbecue pig????
Folks stood around with sandwiches filled with dripping meat,
and then I saw another sign that said “Pickled Pig’s Feet!!!”

My pigs’ feet took me out of there as fast as I could joggle.
I didn’t stop for donuts. I didn’t stop to ogle.
I scurried for my own safe yard, squealing “Wee, wee, wee!”
Now when I seek adventure, home is enough for me!!!

 

For the latest dVerse Poetics prompt: A different take on myths or legends.

Hibiscus: Flower of the Day, Apr 24, 2019

IMG_1559This little hibiscus bush right next to my kitchen door is very faithful in providing a bloom at a time. Nice to be greeted to this surprise most days when I go out to feed the cats. It is a Spanish Dancer. Love the bloom and love the name.

For Cee’s FOTD

Bad Choices Well Remembered

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Bad Choices Well Remembered

Memories grate against my mind like chalk against the board.
I simply can’t forget them, however much abhorred.
When I try to go sleep, at breakfast or at tea,
my reflections interrupt the most polite company.
With my present decisions, I’m doing rather fine, 
yet my past could have been  better. Why didn’t I decline?
On my mind’s conveyor belt, regrets move down the line,
but though I keep it oiled, they emit a nagging whine.
Would have, could have, should have–—they wheedle with such zest
I cannot still the murmurings of each unwelcome guest.
We’re meant to leave the past behind. It’s how all nature planned it,

but contrary to nature, my memory hasn’t banned it!

 

Yay! Forgottenman has written a post for two days in a row.  Please see his memories of watermelon HERE. and leave him a comment so he knows you care.

 

Prompt words today are omit, tea, oil and chalk. Here are the links:
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/23/your-daily-word-prompt-omit-april-23-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/23/tea/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/23/fowc-with-fandango-oil/
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/23/rdp-tuesday-chalk/

Pelicans, NaPoWriMo 2019, Apr 23, 2019

Pelicans

They float upon the gentle swells
with chins tucked in politely.
Of all the birds, most dignified,
their movements never sprightly.

They look like grumpy butlers
named Oliver or Jeeves
in morning coats of softest brown
with wings tucked in their sleeves.

They may be only scouting
the source of their next meal,
for now they take off to the air
with energy and zeal.

Soon they’re diving down again,
straight like an arrow shot
into the water’s surface
to see what can be caught.

Bobbing once again,
they lift their bills and then let slide
all that’s in their pouches
to another place inside.

I wonder if the fishes flop
all the long way down,
and this is why the pelicans
then fold their wings and frown?

The NaPoWriMo prompt today is to write a poem about an animal.