How have you found your way into my dreams,
ripping my comfort apart at the seams?
I thought I’d escaped to back rooms of my self
but still I find thoughts of you stacked on a shelf
carefully obscured both in front and above
by other less perilous memories of love.
You walk nonchalantly into the room
that I have just cleared with a cloth and a broom
of other dangers and sadnesses not
knowing that once again, I will be caught.
Now I hide out behind walls at the back
where all of my worst fears reside in a stack.
Cowering here as you stride through the place
that your very presence has turned dark and base.
How could I have loved such a frightening soul,
the box of my heart turned into a bowl
with all of my secrets and weakness revealed—
things I now know that I should have kept sealed?
There you sit quietly, perched on a chair,
one hand on the desk top, one hand on your hair,
writing cruel words—I know about me.
I ease my way over, hoping to see,
but the paper is empty. Your ink has turned clear,
making improbable all that I fear.
As now I remember that I let you in,
forgetting all else in the charm of your grin.
The joy of your hand as it guided me sure
across the dance floor—all that allure
that kept me involved in the surface of you
overlooking the risks as most of us do.
If I’d had an x-ray taken of you
when our romance was shiny and new
I might have seen sooner your dangerous zone
and taken a detour and left you alone.
And perhaps now my dreams would be placid and calm
so I’d sleep without worry, sleep without qualm.
I might not have moved off to the edge of the world,
might still have been sleeping, never unfurled.
Perhaps it’s these dangers that make us let go
of all of the comforts of worlds that we know
and send us out elsewhere to discover a self
we’d have never found sitting safe on a shelf.
Written on the topic of risk for dVerse Poets.
Fantastic writing
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sadje.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome 😉
LikeLike
Beautiful~! They flow out of you like water, sometime only a drip, then suddenly a gush~!
Thanks, gives me something to think about today.
SAM
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s exactly what happens. I open the floodgates and instant irrigation.
LikeLike
I had a dream like that just a week or so ago, I woke upon a cold sweat of fear. You writing really brought all that back to me.
LikeLike
As though we need those moments brought back to mind, yet there must be a reason for our dreams to do so now and then. Perhaps unresolved matters. I hadn’t thought of this particular person for years.
LikeLike
Wonderful poem, Judy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Regina. Been wondering how you are. All recovered?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Judy,
It’s like being stuck in a nightmare. Douglas and I have split the house in two, to avoid giving each other new germs. I just can’t seem to beat this thing, but I am, as always, hopeful, because I have lived long enough to know that this will pass.
LikeLike
Phew. All I read before I enlarged your message was “Douglas and i have split.” That caused a little flutter, but reading the rest of the message changed the news. Still not good, but not as bad as the original.
LikeLike
Beautifully written!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lucy. It is a rewrite of a piece written long ago. That’s the good part of reading old poems. Their flaws become readily appartent.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really enjoy reading your poetry. I can relate in a very private way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are people who feel threatened this way every day and can’t get away from it. I feel lucky in comparison.
LikeLike
Excellent, excellent, excellent. Love every line of every stanza.
LikeLike
Thanks, Ron.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A thorough and evocative description of the risk-taking involved in falling in love. It doesn’t always work out, but I’m sure we learn from it, whatever happens!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully, yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! This is an epic write …. loved it from beginning to end. Risky business indeed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Helen. True story, both unfortunately and fortunately.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love this poem, Judy :-). What a delectable rhyme throughout! I enjoyed the whole analogy of sweeping clear a room only for the danger of someone to steal in again. I also enjoyed and agreed with the final stanza 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Sunra. Glad we are in accord.
LikeLike
Really really good, begs to be read aloud… and somehow there will always be dangers around.
LikeLike
Yes. The way of the world.
LikeLike
And I am sure this can be so for either sex.
LikeLike
You’ve conveyed life with a narcissist in poetic perfection without ever mentioning the ‘N’ word 🙂
Well written and b***** well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Shirley. You are so right about the narcissist–but this person was far beyond that and into the dangerous realm.
LikeLike
Very wonderfully written! A grand poem…. we no not the risks we take when jumping into a relationship. All of our charmers have feet of clay it seems.
LikeLiked by 1 person
If only there was an X-ray of love and we could see into the depths of each soul. But then perhaps no one would choose us? 😆 Of course, not counting the sociopathic bunch, I think it’s really a toss-up at times and maybe one guy isn’t any riskier than another. It’s all about how evolved each person is. I’m just pondering a loud here, your poem is so well written I will be thinking about this for a bit! 🥳
LikeLike
Oh there is a difference. This poem is written about one particular man, not men in general.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a painful experience and maybe you are still trying to make sense of it in your dreams. Sad that some people can affect our lives so severely!
LikeLike
wow, that was powerful, i could feel the pain in words, beautiful as it was. very well written
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks so much, Lazy eye. It is such a pleasure to have people comment on what I write. Thanks for doing so.
LikeLike
Love is a joy, love is a bitch. Trouble is at first, you never know which. Generously written, generously shared. I read it, I felt it, I knew it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks,Sean. Aren’t we glad most of it is behind us?
LikeLike
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!! 💝💝
LikeLike
awesome write, we’ve all had that relationship with Mr Wrong! Hope your poem writing was cathartic. That last statement says it all … we need to take risks to learn and we all make a few mistakes beguiled by charm, a smile, …
LikeLike
My situation wasn’t exactly this one. No kids. And the guy wasn’t a bully. But, the same end result.
LikeLike
the no kids factor must be a huge relief!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I married a man with eight kids, but this poem was definitely not about him.. or really anyone I knew. I definitely wouldn’t have ever married this man!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So good
LikeLike
Wonderful poetry, Judy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Violet.
LikeLike