Costco Owes Me Thirty Minutes!!!

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Yes, it’s true. Costco owes me thirty minutes, which is how long it took
me to get this blasted can of Kirkland Tomato Paste Open!!!!
How is that possible and why was it Costco’s fault? Let me tell you. The story begins when my neighbors Sergio and David asked if I needed anything at Costco. I asked them to get me hamburger and they returned with a package the size of a large newborn baby..7 1/2 lbs! So, I divided it into 7 one pound packages and one 1/2  pound one. Click on pictures to enlarge and hear the rest of the tale.

 

made a meatloaf out of 1 1/2 pounds of the remains, and meatballs out of the rest.
Of course, meatballs screamed out for a sauce, so I tried to open this tomato paste,
but my can opener wouldn’t work,
and when I tried using my punch opener, the paste came oozing up but was too thick to pour out.
When I went to borrow my neighbor’s can opener, his wouldn’t work either, so he gouged it open, but it was impossible to get all the paste out.
Then he had a brilliant thought. Perhaps they had put the label on upside down and you had to open it from the bottom!
And he was right. The fault was not in my can opener, but in the factory. Turned over, the can opened like a charm.
And when the tomato paste was removed (careful, sharp edges) this bit of artistry was revealed.
And although it took me as long to get the can open as to prepare the rest of the sauce, After the sauce had simmered on the stovetop, I added the meatballs I’d made earlier
and popped them in the oven at a low heat.
An hour later.. voila!

 

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About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

31 thoughts on “Costco Owes Me Thirty Minutes!!!”

  1. Lou Carreras's avatarLou Carreras

    We have a special can opener for these cans ( got it at Lee Valley) I have to spend five minutes remembering how to use it every time one of these things come into the house.
    I may be wrong, but I think they are designed this way so that when we open the can there are no sharp edges, and no metal gets into the contents.

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  2. anntonyjandc's avataranntonyjandc

    You’re a riot! Io ved the story. Why’d they get you so much hamburger,? Why’d you decide to cook,? And that upside down can of tomato paste. So funny. Some of the punctures in its jagged maw looked like a horror show But your delicious dish nay have been worth it….for the guest!

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    2. lifelessons's avatarlifelessons Post author

      I actually sent Costco a link to this blog.. just for the fun of it. Once when I put a poem about Sponge Daddy on my blog, the company somehow saw it and sent me a free one.. along with a poem of their own. And they found me in Mexico and sent it here! Amazing. This is not my intent with Costco.. just thought it would be fun to send it .. and inform them there is something wrong in their tomato paste label dept.

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    1. lifelessons's avatarlifelessons Post author

      Would you have thought to turn the can over? When I started to tell Forgottenman the story before I did the post, that was his first comment after I said my can opener didn’t work. I remember having a fleeting thought about doing so but remembered in the past that it only opened on the top side. I believed the label and didn’t think further…

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      1. VJ's avatarVJ

        I’m sure I must have. The day I received my diagnosis, I was sitting in the Costco parking lot when the doctor called. After a 90 minute conversation about what was about to happen to my body and how to deal with it, she added: Oh, and if I could write a prescription, it would be stay away from Costco. She was right, of course – too many lights, sights, sounds, smells. Now I use it to measure progress.

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        1. lifelessons's avatarlifelessons Post author

          They will be but I am usually like that. After I’ve spent a good amount of time cooking something (and opening cans–ha) I find that it feels as though I’ve already eaten a big helping of it and it and I don’t really want to eat it until the next day or thereafter.

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