Category Archives: Daily Life

A Special Start to My Day

When I came into the kitchen to make our smoothies this morning, I noticed there was a candle burning next to the virgin of Guadalupe statue on the island divider between my kitchen and dining room.  I didn’t say anything about it, but later, Yolanda said, “I lit a candle for your mother today.”  Today is mother’s day in Mexico.  So sweet.  I went and got a pic of my mom to put next to it. This is one of the things I would miss so much if I ever left Mexico.  What would replace this special sweetness in the States?  My life is so enriched by it.

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The Drop of the Third Shoe

We have been told our electricity (and thus, our water) will be off all day, so I’ve filled all the sinks and the tub and every pitcher in the house with water to aid in rehydration, flushing and dirty dishwashing.  Now, an hour and a half past the time I was told we’d lose power, we still have it.  Strangely enough, last night I found my bedroom door was permanently locked and could not be opened by key or turning the knob.  Same was true of my back door…and my kitchen door knob is about to fall off.  I finally had to take my bedroom door off the hinges as I had to go outside to get from my bedroom to the rest of my house.  Everything seems to be going on strike at once.  I’m waiting for the third shoe to drop.

Update:  Give me a hammer!  Give me a screwdriver! Give me an ice pick! Give me some WD-40!  Give me some muscle! Give me two magazines and one copy of Three Cups of Deceit (which is exactly the same thickness as the crack under my bedroom door).  And what have you got?  S-U-C-C-E-S-S!!!!!  I fixed both of my doors.  Took one off the hinges, rejigged the doorknob (thanks, ice pick), WD-40’d it excessively, realigned the door with a lot of muscle and various combinations of the book and magazines and hammer, and got the pins back in and the lock works—and opens!  The back door just took WD-40 and the hammer.  I’m still not so sure that someone didn’t try to jimmy it open as I had to pound the lock plate back flat, but—the third shoe that dropped was, I hope, the fact that I did two of the repairs myself and I am now able to freely move through my house…. Applause, please.  Comments will do!

The offending door, dismantled

The offending door, dismantled

And Diego zipped into the open door, ran to his cage, nosed the door open and slept through the entire thing.  This is not punishment.  He loves his little cage--for sleeping only.  He is a puppy and still has the chews.

The repaired door, back on its hinges.

And Diego zipped into the open door, ran to his cage, nosed the door open and slept through the entire thing.  This is not punishment.  He loves his little cage--for sleeping only.  He is a puppy and still has the chews.

And Diego zipped into the open door, ran to his cage, nosed the door open and slept through the entire thing. This is not punishment. He loves his little cage–for sleeping only. He is a puppy and still has the chews.

Scissors, Tissue Paper and General MacArthur

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Every year, my mom helped us make May baskets to fill with candy and leave on the doorsteps of our friends. As mentioned in an earlier post, we’d ring the doorbell and run. If the recipient caught us, they could kiss or pinch us—their choice.

Some years we bought fancy handled nut cups from the dime store and used them, but I liked best to make my own. One year, my mother showed us something special to use for May baskets. Her family knew how to make these incredible tissue-paper ornaments that, with a cupcake liner filled with candy glued into the bottom, hung down in a web-like form. We’d pin them at the top and when you held them up they would fall down in a lacy accordion effect so they were a foot or two high. The only way you could really get the effect was to put them on the floor and hold up the top part or hang them from something.

She didn’t remember whether it was her mother or one of her seven older siblings who taught her how to make them, but about five years ago, when I went to the International Music festival in Adelaide, Australia, I went into one of the tents on local cultures around the world and saw my mom’s May baskets hanging all over the tent! It seemed surreal. The tent was displaying handicrafts from the Philippines, and it turns out that my mom’s May baskets were actually hand-cut Philippine lanterns. Suddenly, it all made sense.

My mother’s older sister had married an army officer who served under General MacArthur and my aunt had become a very good friend of Jean MacArthur. She told a funny story about going to a ball and not having a dress to wear and either Jean persuaded my aunt to wear one of Jean’s very fancy satin nightgowns or vice versa. (Wish I’d written down all these family stories when they were fresh.) Anyway, when MacArthur was sent to the Philippines during the war, he took my Uncle Tubby with him.

Jean MacArthur elected to stay in the Philippines with her husband and at one point, my Aunt Betty was there as well. She talked of journeying through headhunter country and other adventures I have forgotten and that she had perhaps embellished, but the point of this circuitous story is that obviously, it was my Aunt Betty who brought the tradition of hand-cut Philippine tissue paper lanterns back to Junction City, Kansas, creating a family tradition that I must remember to hand down to my three nieces—the last surviving members of the family who might be remotely interested in how to create three-dimensional beauty from a flat piece of tissue paper.

I’m going to stop now and go to find two sheets of contrasting color tissue paper and a pair of scissors, to see if I even remember how!!! I’ll post a picture if I figure it out. (I, alas, could find only one piece of tissue paper, so I’ll have to post a less-spectacular example of this family craft that after three tries, I finally remembered.)

Now, I’d love for you to pass along a story about one of your own special family memories, handicrafts or recipes by posting it on my blog.

Happy Mayday, five days late. Happy family memories and here’s to passing them on.

Lassitude, Guilty Pleasures, Solitude and TV in the afternoon!

Am I weak?  Undisciplined?  The minute the NaPoWriMo whip was removed, I sank into lassitude and solitude again and haven’t posted on this blog.  The truth is that I’m absolutely exhausted, both physically and mentally.  The blade of “the book” has been hanging over me for so long that I think now that it is removed that I crave actual retirement for a few days or weeks or months.  Of course, this isn’t possible.  Tony and I are giving a talk about the book tomorrow and have another talk scheduled in June. I have 4 more rhymed children’s books I need to find an illustrator for and I need to promote the “Grief Lessons” book. (If you have any ideas, please share them.)  I have another book I want to get on Kindle and Amazon and although that should be easy as it is already in print, it means combing old computers to find the Word file and actually meeting with Tony to figure out the process by which he put Grief Diary on Amazon.  It takes a very little effort, but I feel laaaaaaazy and have people coming for Mexican Train and pizza tonight and need to get in gear for that soon.  So, I’m going to shirk life’s responsibilities for another few hours and watch episode 13 of “The Americans” and pretend for a few more hours that I am really retired.  Please don’t give up on me.  I like connecting with you all in this way—both those I know and those I will know.  I enjoy seeing who has linked and some day I’ll figure out how to link with you or follow you.  In addition, I will figure out whether those are one and the same thing.  New to blogging, not new to life!

Question of the day:  Did anyone else out there ever make Maybaskets and fill them with candy and leave them on friends’ doorsteps on May 1?  You’d ring the doorbell and run.  If they caught you,Imagethey could pinch you or kiss you.   Pictured is a maybasket I made from shredded Kozo paper.  The flower is made from cardboard egg cartons cut up, glued and painted.  The candy was yummy.  I know because I couldn’t deliver this one on May 1 and ended up eating all the candy and had to go candy shopping again yesterday, when I gave this to my friend.  More secrets revealed!!  oxoxox Judy

Time Temporal (Final Day––Day 30––Of NaPoWriMo)

The prompt on this last day of National Poetry Month is to find a shortish poem that you like, and rewrite each line, replacing each word (or as many words as you can) with words that mean the opposite. I chose Sonnet 18 by Shakespeare.

Time Temporal

by Judy Dykstra-Brown

Shall I contrast thee to a winter’s night?
Thou art less lovely and more tempestuous.
No wind disturbs November’s empty stalks,
Oe’r which the winter hath too long a power.
Sometimes the too-cold moon lies sheathed in clouds.
And rarely does its pitted face shine forth.
Yet light from dark may rise. We’re proof of that,
Spurred on by fate or providence’s  plan.
But thy short winter soon shall pass away,
Restore to thee the homeliness of death.
Nor shall that birth that brought you forth to light
Still claim thee when time curtains you with night.
As men lose breath and eyes  give up their sight,
So dies this poem, and you echo its plight.

Sonnet 18

by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

The Earth, Will and I (Day 22 of NaPoWriMo)

The Earth, Will and I

The noise of birds so loud—
orioles, grackles, seedeaters
and my neighbor’s fighting cock.
You would think they know
it is Earth Day.

In writing about them,
I have not forgotten
that tomorrow
is the anniversary
of Shakespeare’s
birth and death.

I am having my book launch tomorrow.
No competition for Will,
but I am alive,
and I have completed this book
after 12 long years.
I sing to celebrate
both of these miracles,
my backup chorus
fading out behind me
as I warble
my extreme pleasure
in being chosen
to participate
in this wonderful world
and in having the luxury
to write
about
it.

“Wanted” (NaPoWriMo day 19)

The prompt was to write a poem in the style of a personal ad.

Wanted:

It’s not so hard to write a personal ad.
Wanted: someone to replace my dad

who consents to cut the carrots and grate the cheese
Just exactly as I please.

A quirky, pleasant, intelligent, liberal man
who can navigate a day without a plan;

who will throw the dog a bone
and let me be alone

sometimes. At other times, who’ll draw me out.
Someone who doesn’t even want to shout.

Someone who will make me want to be
We.

Dining Alone at the Maria Bonita Restaurant Bar (Day 18 of NaPoWriMo)

The Prompt today was to write a poem that begins and ends with the same word.

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“Dining Alone at the Maria Bonita Restaurant Bar”

Smoldering.

Señor Garcia is smoking today.
Below him,
Maria Phoenix lies on satin sheets
on the wall of Maria Bonita Restaurant Bar.

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It is a small palapa restaurant––soft orange front with
hot pink trim–– that I’ve driven by hundreds of times before;
and every time, I’ve wanted to come in, but haven’t.
Now today, suddenly,
I don’t want to go home
and so my car turns in across the carretera.

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I am the lone customer.
The cook and waiter
spring to action.
Totopos for him to bring,
a fire for her to light.
This is a fish restaurant
and I am a non-fish
eater, choosing between
quesadillas and beans
or a hamburger and fries.
Needless to say, I’m not here for the food.

I am here for the view and the limits
imposed by eating alone in an otherwise empty
restaurant/bar. I have a poem to write
and need the discipline imposed by a place
where there’s nothing else to do.
My only distraction is the view,
which forms the subject of my poem
and so is anything but a distraction.

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The smoke from a dozen fires
rises into the air from the entire eastern slope
of Mount Garcia across the lake.
Whether by accident or by the hand of farmers
lighting fires to clear last year’s stubble from the fields,
the effect is that this extinct volcano
has somehow come to life,
springing leaks.

Fanned by a recent wind, the smoke grows denser, rises higher.
Below the slopes, a patchwork quilt of strawberry and raspberry
fields, covered with plastic sheets,
spawn fruit for the tables of El Norte.

Maria, that other smoldering beauty, lies suspended all around me––
long canvas banners reflecting her screen loves and her roles.
She looks over one shoulder, wears a rebozo or a mariachi’s sombrero.
Cantinflas, that beloved clown, shares her wall but is never in a shot with her.
They are opposites: the sexual symbol and the comic. One raises tension
and the other seeks to dispel it.

Maria Phoenix

I am in between, a mere observer, I know.
In every case it’s likely that the fire has been lit by means unnatural,
but nonetheless, it ignites my imagination.
I am surrounded by it.
“Blue Bayou” plays on the sound system.
Sleepy eyes.
My eyes sting from the smoke
that has filtered toward me
from eight miles or so across the lake.
The tears in my eyes are from the smoke,
not from memories of the departed one
I used to come with to these fish restaurants.

They are not the place for gringos.
Word is out about the sanitation
or where the fish comes from
or who might be encountered here.
A few restaurants down, there was a cartel killing
just about a year ago––perhaps more, perhaps less.
At any rate, Americanos and Canadians are rarely found here.

Today, no one else is found here.
“There’s no exception to the rule”
plays on the sound system.
“Everybody plays the fool.”
Feeling a stranger in the place where I live
is a feeling pleasurable to me––
an emotion I do not feel foolish for pursuing.

The waiter, as though I’m a repeat customer,
brings an entire bucket of ice
and fills my glass each time he passes.
They have my brand of rum.

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I have always known this place could be my place.
The pleasure of knowing it to be so warms me
as much as the second jigger of rum.
Shall he pour it for me? Do I want it all?
Just half, I tell him, and fill the glass with Coke.
I like it weaker, so I can spread it out.
Like the fire.

Smoldering.

Hello, NaPoWriMo (Day 17)

The assignment today was to write a poem of greeting.

Hello, NaPoWriMo

Good morning, NaPoWriMo, and good night.
Whether I have written or will write,
you tend to fill my day with obligation
for rhymed and metered concentration.
Social engagements––a thing of the past.
No time for conversation and repast
except for sandwiches and coffee quickly quaffed
in glow not candlelight (but just as soft)
that shines from my computer screen
from morn till night, with no relief between
as I strain for yet another rhyme.
For this is how I spend my time,
NaPoWriMo! With fourteen days to go,
it is impossible to just say, “No.”
No matter how I yearn to just resume my life––
to end these rhymes with which my days are rife––
I have to finish what I started
lest I be branded fickle-hearted.
I read somewhere that half the poets who first committed
to write a poem a day have by now quitted
the task they took an oath to do;
but still a few
plod on with me. We’ll never meet,
though we walk down the same blank path with metered feet.
Perhaps one day we’ll meet in poetry heaven or hell
knowing we did this task completely if not well!

In conclusion, I have heard
That in Hawaii, there’s one word
that means both hello and good bye.
It means love, affection, adios and hi!
That word, “Aloha,” covers all from dark to light;
and so, Aloha, NaPoWriMo, and good night!

Three Pantuns (Day 15 of NaPoWriMo)

Today’s assignment was the pantun, which consists of rhymed quatrains (abab), with 8-12 syllables per line. The first two lines of each quatrain aren’t meant to have a formal, logical link to the second two lines, although the two halves of each quatrain are supposed to have an imaginative or imagistic connection.

Here are three I dashed off quickly in an hour, after a too-busy day. It would be nice if there were room for poetry in every day, unfortunately that is not always so. NaPoWriMo gives us that additional shove to make some time for it, even if that time is very short.

She grows exasperated with his love.
See how his fingertips caress her face?
The hand that fits too tightly in the glove
Might chafe from the embrace of even lace.

The coat tossed idly over kitchen chair.
Inside the pocket is a diamond ring.
The branch outside the window stark and bare.
One tries in vain to pay the birds to sing.

The window that is your connection with the world,
when darkness falls, shows only you.
The author writes, his characters’ truths unfurled,
but it is he the readers view.