Bob, 1999

Soaring (Addendum to Plummeting)

A very close friend just Skyped me that today is the 14th anniversary of Bob’s death and commented on the coincidence that it was my topic today.  The fact that I really didn’t remember that today (although I’d thought of it twice in the past week) combined with the fact that today was one of the nicest days I’ve passed in years only goes to show that we come through the very worst experiences but survive and grow happy again and reach new highs. Bob was one of the great loves of my life (during the highs) and one of the greatest sadnesses (during the lows, including his illness and death.) This is how life goes. We all know this. But we need to remember that more highs will come and not give up. Person after person has proven this in their posts today. The last example, since I just read his post, is Mark. For those in the thralls of the lows: just keep strong and have faith that there is another mountain on the horizon. Love to all you strong people and those who feel weak but have a strength they need to remember!!! xoxoox Judy

P.S. Just noticed that we were supposed to tell what we’d learned from our up and down experiences.  I learned that we should not put off what we want to do.  Bob was so afraid that we would starve or go into bankruptcy if we retired that he put it off far beyond the time when he should have retired.  He waited too long!  The very hardest thing for me in moving to Mexico alone was all the times I thought, “Damn!  Bob would have loved this!” This was the hardest part of the first few years–harder even than my missing him.  Don’t wait.  Don’t put off your dreams.  Do them the minute it is humanly possible to do them.  We have control over what we do, but we don’t always have control over what is done to us by other people, fate or life in general.  The power we have is to act.  Now.  Do it!! (I’m talking to myself as well as you.)

If by chance you have my book “Lessons from a Grief Diary: Rebuilding Your Life after the Death of a Loved One” please read Bob’s poem “About My Mountain Poem” in the Appendix. It is a powerful poem about seizing opportunity in spite of the obstacles.  He lived this up to the end, but regrettably had a lapse and didn’t remember to live it soon enough.

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