Change of Plans

img_4755-1                                                          jdbphoto

Change of Plans

On the day you finally realize
that you have gone up a size,
you vow that this time when you try it,
you’re going to stay upon your diet.

The problem is your kitchen’s fraught
with all the food that you just bought.
A trip to Costco sealed your doom,
for though you went to buy a broom

and paper towels and toilet paper,
once you began your shopping caper,
you had no choice except to go
past the chips and candy row.

And then the bakery, with those pies
and cakes right there before your eyes!
So now it seems you must defray
your diet for another day.

There is some force inside that store
so even purists shop for more.
One goes in steadfast, stoic, haughty,
and comes out gluttonous and naughty.

Forgive yourself. No mortal can go
into that store and simply stow
one item in their cart or two.
(Or even wind up with a few.)

The problem is the route you took
and the fact you chose to look.
You should have bought, it is the truth,
more lettuce and less Baby Ruth.

The prompt today was “Realize.”

40 thoughts on “Change of Plans

    1. lifelessons Post author

      I love your pun, intentional or by mistake, Mary. It’s true that all of that bad stuff is eventually “waisted” as opposed to wasted. Ha. Check to see if you have a copy of “Proving Up.” (Jones County History.) If so, Dorothy Lyman wrote a very thorough account of the blizzard of ’52 and the little Judd girls.

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      1. Mary Francis McNinch

        I can’t even blame spellchecker. I text my son to tell him I was sending him a pkg. He asked what he was supposed to do with a pig. I think I might have that book. It seems like Dad had one. Bill said he hates the words huge and very, very.

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      2. lifelessons Post author

        Thanks for being my word collector. I think those typos or mind glitches sometimes happen because another side of us wants to make a joke we consciously haven’t thought of. I loved yours.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Christine Goodnough

    One of our problems at this house is that we haven’t been able to get our dieting urges to work together over the years. The times when I feel I need to lose weight hubby’s asking for pie and brownies. When he feels he needs to eat less and lose weight I’m in the middle of a chocolate crave-out. 🙂

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      1. Christine Goodnough

        Yes, this lack of coordination has torpedoed many a good intention.
        And by the way, it isn’t Costco that does in my diets. It’s eating all those bits left over after a meal because no one else was willing to clean them out. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Allenda

    OMG! Did you take a pic of me when you were here? No wonder the woman at the art fair asked if we were sisters!!! Glad I am sendin T to the store. I always walk out with a brimming cart. I’m just heading out for a walk up the hill. Need to check the address on that house next door wiith the double lot to let our Realtor know it will be going in the mkt. Do you want to have multiple homes? I also need a water aerobics pool Nazi to get me on the straight and narrow. Speaking of which, can you send us copies of the exercises? Gracias, and gracias for this timely poem!

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      It was a very popular candy bar when I was little and Costco still sells them by the bag full. Nougat with caramel and peanuts, rolled into a lumpy log shape and dipped in chocolate. What’s not to like?

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  3. hirundine608

    Yup, a nice image. Looks a bit like the intro to Marco Polo, on Netf**x? Powerful gif. The grocery store or the now ubiquitous supermarkets are cleverly designed to get you to buy more than intended. I take a list and stick to it. Mostly my shopping is around the outside; avoiding the rows as much as possible. The good stuff is usually stocked, high or low. Eye level is fraught with dangers. … Cheers Jamie.

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      1. hirundine608

        The opening title scene. Where the ink goes wet on wet, into the pictures for the credits. The opening episode? I barely remember. In general the series is not as brutal as other things, perhaps? I am not happy with violent stories either but if I can handle it? It is not as bad as you might think? I was pleasantly surprised, with the quality and the storyline. The acting too, really good. Especially Kublai Khan and the Chinese Prime Minister.

        Costco? It’s okay, I suppose? Buying in bulk all the time. Probably works for some? I fail to see why, I excel? We live in completely different environments. A person has to find what works for them. I adhere to the adage, you are what you eat. So, … that’s my cross to bear and no one else’s. Thanks for your nice words … makes your posts twice as enjoyable. Thanks! Cheers Jamie

        Liked by 1 person

      2. lifelessons Post author

        I live in an environment where Costco is the only place I can get certain things such as unscented tp and good paper towels. Unscented laundry detergent. Golden Kiwis. I go every few months and really try to be good. Don’t buy pastries or candy or chips. A writer’s gotta be allowed some hyperbole.

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      3. hirundine608

        For sure …. there is no judgment attached from this end. I shop Costco too. Living on a fixed income means you learn to be strong, when it comes to spending money. My wife … I still have difficulty writing that ,when I’ve been single for so long. She is very good too. Doggedly determined with saving monies. Reuses and recycles, so much. Costco, is set up to make you consume large amounts. There is just the one outlet on Vancouver Island. So the car park is almost full, from opening to closing. There is a good fruit and veg outlet further away, that I use at least once a week. My mailbox is across the road, from that Costco. So, almost each day, I watch the stream of cars coming and going.

        Victoria B.C has changed from a sleepy town, of 25 years ago. Into one of a very urbane existence. There is always another group of trees felled. Now occupied with bulldozers and cranes, as another apartment block is assembled. I had to go to Wal-mart for some empty spray bottles. I was bemused by watching everyone buying fruit pies … 2 for $10ca. I made dessert last night, supper with my kids. It was a fruit cobbler and maybe cost me $3.00 tops? People seem to have forgotten, or are disinclined? To make their own. Huge houses and kitchens, that are barely used, it seems? Cheers Jamie.

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      4. lifelessons Post author

        Jamie, sad to hear that about your island. I went there for my honeymoon 31 years ago. Wow. Seems impossible. It was beautiful and I wish we’d had more time there.

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      5. hirundine608

        There is still a lot of beauty here. The city of Victoria and the surrounding areas have been replaced with this sprawl. Langford has become an area of big box stores. … and all the people for whom this is utopia. … sigh! Cheers Jamie.

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      6. hirundine608

        Ohhh, yeah. It’s never appealed to me. If I want that type of vacation? I would go to Philippines, Viet Nam or maybe Thailand? I’m sure it’s very nice! Who wants to be surrounded by ex-pats? Begging your pardon!

        My visits to the Philippines have me riding the motorolas or the jeepney’s. The cabs see me and roll slowly by, expecting me to take them. Because that’s what white vacationers do … Cheers Jamie.

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      7. lifelessons Post author

        I like working vacations. Did Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand age 18-45. Now I prefer going somewhere and staying in one place and doing art and writing. Lots of ex pat artists and writers in La Manz and lots of Mexicans as well. I love it there. Laid back and unfancy with the prettiest beach and coastline I’ve seen in Mexico.

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  4. Marilyn Armstrong

    And an excellent explanation of why we don’t shop in that kind of store — we don’t actually HAVE a Costco anywhere nearby, but we have other places that are similar. Even when we had a lot of people to feed, we always bought too much and the wrong stuff there. Now, we buy what we need. I stock up on canned stuff I use often (diced tomatoes, pasta, stuff to drink), but otherwise, we buy less and it turns out, we are just fine. And it’s a lot less expensive buying what you need. I’m convinced those stores are designed so you can’t avoid the beautiful deserts and snacks. No one has THAT much self-control.

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      Of course they are, plus they place the healthy stuff in the back so you have to walk by all the temptations..and sometimes change the location of things so you can’t just easily find them and have to wander a bit to find what you need. Well-staffed and a good choice of brands makes it irresistible.

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