The Naming of Gassy Dan



The Naming of Gassy Dan

I’ll tell you of a man I knew by name of Gassy Dan.
It’s true he was a glutton—a mountain of a man.
A sopper-up of every bowl, a scraper of each pan.

He wasn’t the most pleasant guest to ever grace one’s table,
for his appetite was something of legend and of fable
as he gobbled up more than his share whenever he was able.

Once seated at the table, though, he never had enough
of pork chop and of gravy, still he’d commence to huff
and puff about some gossip with language rude and rough.

With his slanderous assertions, his posturings and brayings,
his sanctimonious protests and all of his trite sayings,
he punished all our eardrums with incessant oral flayings.

Thus the rumblings at our table as we commenced to sup

were not his gastric gasses growling like a pup.
His borborygmus rumblings came from farther up. 

The Ragtag prompt for the day is borborygmus. bor·bo·ryg·mus (a rumbling or gurgling noise made by the movement of fluid and gas in the intestines.)

7 thoughts on “The Naming of Gassy Dan

  1. MNL

    I prefer the stomach rumblings. At least it doesn’t happen all the time! He sounds like his grumbings doesn’t shut up. Enjoyed the poem. We’ve all known a borborygmus or two that masqueraded as people.



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