Rules of Order

Rules of Order
(Mom’s Note Taped up on The Fridge)

I have a part time passion for things in their right place.
Shoes go in the closet. A nose goes on a face.
An Oxford comma bothers me when placed before an “and.”
An apostrophe in a plural word? Something I can’t stand!

“Me and her,” though common in modern print and speech,
is a solecism that I must beseech
you not to make. The use of it is bound to cause a screech.
Such errors unforgivable—a gross grammatical breach.

When issued from an errant tongue, it’s sure to cause a rise
in my pulse and blood pressure and pitchforks in my eyes!!!!
When I was a teacher, I’d put squiggles through a word
like “awesome” for its overuse was one I found absurd.

In striking out such errors, I felt most justified,
to save its proper usage for times more bonafide.
Right things in right places just somehow soothe my soul.
Sorting out the universe is my heartfelt goal.

Forks all on the left side, spoons and knives all on the right.
Bowls all stacked up on a shelf are a lovely sight.
Ants all neatly marching in their single rows.
Orderly arrangements? Even Nature knows

are the proper way for all the world to go,
and now that I’ve informed you, even you must know
enough to know that order makes me a happy camper,
so after this, please put your dirty socks into the hamper!!!



Prompts today are part time, passion, striking, solecism (a grammatical mistake in speech or writing), rise and squiggles. Photo by jdb

This entry was posted in Humor, humorous poem, Poetry on by .

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

12 thoughts on “Rules of Order

  1. Marilyn Armstrong

    I don’t know about you, but the older I get the more orderly I become. I think it’s because if I don’t put things where they belong, I will never find them again. ESPECIALLY in the kitchen.



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