Time Temporal
by Judy Dykstra-Brown
Shall I contrast thee to a winter’s night?
Thou art less lovely and more tempestuous.
The lack of wind doth still November’s empty stalks,
Oe’r which the winter hath too long a power.
Sometimes the too-cold moon hides ‘neath the clouds.
Then rarely doth it’s pitted face shine forth;
And dark from dark can sometimes rise,
Spurred on by fate or providence’s static plan.
But thy short winter shall soon pass away,
Restore to thee the homeliness of death.
Nor shall that birth that brought you forth to light
Still claim thee when temporal time shall stop thy growth.
As men lose breath and eyes lose sight,
So dies this poem, and draws thee with it to thy grave.
Sonnet 18
by William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
For NaPoWriMo Day 3, they wanted us to write an “Opposite Poem” based on a famous poem. Mine is above.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
Nicely done!
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Delightful
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This is brilliant Judy. Great reversal
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Fabulous!
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I prefer yours!!!
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Oh Perry. William is rolling over in his grave…
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Lovely take, I love the opposites you picked and a certain rhythm that was kept.
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Enter here befouled cliche, for thou dost take my breath away…and that’s all I find I have to say, being left with no breath on
yet another day…after day… after day… XOg
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Great!
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G’morning! Nice to wake up to you, But now I see that I was not clear. I meant to say that it is your words that take my breath away! My only Dr. in process is eye doctor for simple final check up for one eye for meant for close up, while the other is for long distance. Talk about a learning curve!
We hit the airways early April. Stay healthy and wise and prolific. You are my healthy addiction. xog
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When are you leaving? Seems like you just got here! Want to get together????
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I’m really impressed by the way you reworked the lines, and the age-appropriate (era-appropriate?) language added to my enjoyment. Did you have fun with this? I wrote an ode to summer once which thoroughly delighted me in the making. Put my thesaurus and dictionary to good use looking for just the right words.
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Yes I enjoyed the challenge and I was an English major in college plus took every class available in Shakespeare and Old and Middle English, so the vernacular is familiar, even many years later. I really just “oppositized” the sonnet in this case, however…ha. Yes. A made-up word. If Chaucer and Shakespeare can do it, why not me?
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