I answered a prompt for a quatrain about maps on dVerse by submitting a poem I’d written entitled “Roadmaps.” Although no one objected, it bothered me that I’d just fulfilled half of the prompt, so I decided to transform the poem into three quatrains. It only meant adding a few words to each stanza. Here is the rewrite. I don’t know if I like it better, but at least it follows all the rules:
Road Map
I’m held captive by your wrinkles, dear, enraptured by your ripples.
I love your freckles and your moles and all of nature’s stipples.
They are sacred landmarks. When I find one that is new,
I give thanks to nature for adding more of you.
Sometimes, dear, with the dark night around us rich and deep,
my mind goes on a walkabout as you lie asleep.
The road map of your body is the terrain that I pace—
the slight knolls and the gullies and your face’s fragile lace.
Some folks bemoan the changes that nature brings about,
and they bring a different beauty. It is true, without a doubt.
But as I trace each special feature of your body and your face,
I am sure that nature’s carving instills a deeper grace.
To read the original poem go HERE. Which do you prefer? This illustration and the original poem are from my adult coloring book entitled When Old Dames Get Together and Other Confessions of a Ripe Old Age. Available from Amazon HERE.
For the dVerse Poets prompt. Go HERE to read other poems to this prompt.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
I never understand the rules, and I liked the first, but I think you have improved it.
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Oh good… worth my effort then. I respect your judgement, Derrick.
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I like them both.
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I like this one also, Judy. And I think three Quadrilles dancing together in one poem is a lovely idea.
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For one who is not to any degree a minimalist, perhaps the only way.
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This one I like best❤️
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
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It’s one of my three favorites as well. From the book, I mean, not from dVerse Poets.
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I think I prefer the earlier version. I’m always looking for fewer words to say the same thing.
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There is very little difference between them, but I actually prefer this one. I think the rhythm flows even better now.
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Yes it is so minuscule as to be unnoticeable..I just did it as a compulsive need to follow the rules! ;o)
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Hi Judy – I like them both and rules are made to be broken. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) Speaking of your book Old Dames, I gave a copy and 36 colored pencils to a friend. She just texted me this: “Thank you so much for the coloring book and the pencils. I so enjoyed reading the book as the author captured life in the 70’s so accurately and with such humor. She is a very clever writer and brought a smile to my face and several laughs.”
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I love this. The sentiment. Sometimes I worry what I’ll look like when I’m “older”, and I hope this is my perception then.❤️
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Or at least your husband or lover’s perception
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