
Spotless
They say he was a bastion of the community.
Of what their youth should aim for, the exact epitome.
Mothers named their kids for him and he was so discreet,
his name labelled a shopping center and a city street.
Asked to speak at graduation, his words were most succinct.
Not one old lady fell asleep. Nobody even blinked!
Moral, staunch and upright, he was everyone’s ideal.
He always used the crosswalk. He didn’t cuss or steal.
No forensic laboratory ever had a label
or test tube or fingerprint of his upon their table.
In short, his reputation was one without besmirch.
He went to each town meeting, every Sunday, went to church.
He did not exceed the speed limit, use liquor or smoke pot.
Every single vice on earth was something he was not.
His genes were the best of genes. His relatives all lasted
at least until one hundred, and he dieted and fasted.
Ate kale and probiotics, whole grains and leafy greens.
He sponsored many charities and lived within his means.
So when he died it wasn’t from alcohol or drugs.
He did not die from violence—his own or that of thugs.
He did not perish from obesity or accident or whoredom.
In the end, they say that he simply died of boredom!
Thanks to Martha Kennedy. and ForgottenMan for contributing this cartoon.
For the My Vivid Blog prompt, Reputation

Well, what on earth did they put his tombstone?
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This poem! ;o)
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Haha! Poor guy 😅
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The tie used for illustrative purposes belongs to a guy who was definitely not the subject of this poem.
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😀
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This made me smile but it is so true too.
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But not for thee, right?
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Brilliant! 😂
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Thanks, Sue.
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Like the comic of the very rickety very old man on the examination table at the doc’s. The doc says, “Well, these are the 20 years you get from clean living!”
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Ha! Would have made a great illustration. Do you have it?
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No it was in the New Yorker about a hundred years ago.
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Forgottenman found it and I added it. Thanks to both of you.
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He is a prince among men!
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Well done!
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Thanks, Ruth
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Very cute, but I expected a different ending, like some dark secret popping out of his closet.
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I was thinking the same, Dolly. Maybe Judy will do a sequel, wherein his family/friends go to clean out his abode, where they find, um, surprises?
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I think it would be fun to have you two write the alternate ending!
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Hey, great minds… But it has to be something more shocking than a set of S&M toys.
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