Unsolicited Advice

I don’t like to criticize,
but, darling, do you think it wise
to wear those pants that emphasize
your long life of no exercise
and those big Macs with extra fries?

It is a choice I don’t advise,
for though you have such pretty eyes,
and face like poets eulogise,
your tucked-in blouse does not disguise
a figure Rubenesque in size.

It’s true Kim K. was aggrandised
by buttocks that were super-sized,
augmented and eroticized,
without a doubt romanticized
and surely over-publicized.

But still, dear, must you advertise
that derriere to all the guys?
Unless you’re set to capitalize
on spreading butt and super-thighs,
might I suggest a larger size?

The prompt today was criticize.