A phone call to me today might elicit no response, but you will increase your chances if you stay on the phone long after the message machine has cut in.  The reasons for this are as follows:

At 9:05 a.m., nine men arrived at my front gate with a truck load of large porcelain tiles that look like paving stones with the intention of tiling my entire house with them–a process that will take between one and two weeks.

To facilitate said process, I’ve removed everything in my house except heavy furniture and put it either in the upstairs casita, the spare bedroom and bathroom, the dining room or kitchen.  When the rest of the house is tiled, we’ll move the heavy sculpture and furniture and doo-dads still in the guest bedroom (including me) and bath and kitchen and dining room into the tiled rooms and complete the tile process. Anyone who has ever been in my house will know this is tantamount to packing up a small museum and putting it into storage.

As a result of said shufflings, I can no longer locate my bathroom scale, 1/2 of every pair of shoes, my blood pressure records, 2 smoothies (prepared this morning and lost in turn) and the one phone that is still connected but divorced from its cradle.

In spite of the fact that I’ve just located my now-melted smoothie as well as my phone in the guest bathroom, which is now my only usable bathroom, the fact that five of the nine men are now using hammers and chisels to remove the tile trim on the walls above every floor in the house means it is impossible to hear the phone ring.  Just now, one of the men came to tell me I had a phone call (I call him my secretary now) but alas, whoever it was had hung up by the time I remembered where I’d stashed the phone.

If you’d like some idea of what we’ve been going through for the past two days, you might want to check out the below photos.

Except for the fact that I dropped my Mac on the floor and everything seems to be operating except for the trackpad, which means I can’t maneuver the photos to edit them or place them anywhere, including the desktop or my blog!

This is absolutely not my day.  But has it elicited a scream or even an oath?  It has not.  Has my blood pressure risen?  If I could find my cuff, I could tell you.

Okay, after hours of work and forgottenman’s help, I have edited the photos and he’s now putting them into this blog.  This is REALLY a dual effort today.

Click on first photo to enlarge and read the captions, which I am sure you will want to do as you are totally into this renovation.  Right?  Am I turning into one of those people who take a photo of every meal and post it on Facebook?

Naked room. That’s Donald resting up for the rigors ahead. Will have to wait 4 more years to smash this pinata!

Looks empty and sad. That will change.

Stuff

And more stuff.

Interim resting spot. The Virgin shares her space.

Table filling up. Living room emptying out.

Bob’s and my spiral lamp creation deserved a dust cover of its own.

These ladies will witness it all.

Before. Giant bathtub I never use will come out in lieu of a new shower and bench. Tub side will be cut down to just above the floor for easy entry. A small wall like the one on the right but a bit higher will go beside the chest on the left to guard from shower spray.

Adventures in plumbing.

Ghost of a room.

The next time you see this hall, it will be very different.

Trying to fit everything from my bathroom undergoing a remodel into my guest bathroom. Yes, those are the boxes for my blood pressure machines, but not the machines themselves. I heard one go off spontaneously a half hour ago, but still couldn’t find it!

My new office/bedroom/sanctuary.

These tiles are now all spread out, being cut and shaped. Again, this is the entry to my house!

The obstacle course. This is the entry to my house!

Doesn’t show here, but there is a lot of variation between tiles, which look like stone. Note Morrie and Diego moving around according to where the action is.

Waiting for breakfast.

Off with the old.

I’ve found a number of these big fellas seeking shelter now that the pictures and retablos they lived behind have been taken away.

A cat knows how to find the most comfortable place no matter what the situation.

Annie thought she was top cat until she saw that the new cat on the block gets to be on the bed when she doesn’t!

Once they started cutting tile in the house, I put a huge plastic wall up over this arch. Now I have to go outside to get to the kitchen from my sanctuary.

The kitchen and dining room will be the last to be tiled, so they are acting as a repository of decorative items from other rooms.

Taking into account some of his recent appointments, I thought Donald needed a time out.

The prompt word today was “elicit.”