No Pain, No Rain

The Prompt: When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

No Pain, No Rain

I am always the first to cry
when loved ones move away or die.
I sob when I read tragic books
‘til those around me give strange looks.
Sad movies also create gushers
as all around me, folks turn hushers,
then call out management or ushers
to warn me that I’ll have to go.
so others can enjoy the show!

I shed tears of hot remorse
at friends’ breakups and divorce.
Western music? Love gone wrong?
I sob at every single song.
In my times of great frustration,
restraint just takes a short vacation
as I shed tears of consternation.
Yes, anger makes me spring a leak.
I mop my eyes; I blow my beak.

When I lose my glasses or my keys,
bump my elbow, skin my knees—
yes, I cuss and then I cry.
It’s just the way that I get by—
relieve the tensions, curtail pain.
To stem my tears I try in vain,
knowing it’s a bit inane
for folks my age to use their tears
to express anger, sadness, fears.

It’s not appropriate to sob
when I burn the soup or botch a job.
Yet tear my favorite blouse or pants
and remain tearless? What’s the chance?
There’s just one time that I get by
and do not feel the urge to cry—
when I need not dab at nose or eye
with handkerchief or sleeve or nappie.
I do not cry when I am happy!

DSC08882

Vero, age 3, lives at La Ola girls’ home in Jocotepec, Jalisco, Mexico, and the only time I’ve ever seen her unhappy was once when she was taken up for a nap. She was asleep the minute her head hit the pillow, so the tears didn’t last long.

 

11 thoughts on “No Pain, No Rain

  1. calensariel

    I felt very envious after reading your poem. Crying is such a gift. Though I’m sure others may not see it that way. I often think I would feel so much better if I could just let it all out and have a good one. But that’s not a gift I have. I remember the first time I realized I wasn’t a crier. It was at my paternal grandmother’s funeral. My mom was upset with me because I hadn’t shed a tear. She said I must not have loved her very much because I never cried a drop. I was 12 at the time. I’ve been unable to cry ever since, even at times when I’m feeling totally overwhelmed. It always makes me wonder if I experience life less deeply because I have been unable to access that part of my emotions.

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      Calensariel—It may be that you express it more deeply because you don’t have the release of tears. I, on the other hand, have often been embarrassed because I cry so easily. I left out weddings because it seems like that must be crying in joy and it seemed to contradict my poem’s thesis. I even cry at the weddings of people I don’t know very well. And funerals? I’m a mess. Most embarrassing is crying when I feel really, really angry or frustrated because it looks like a ploy to win sympathy or get my own way. It isn’t. It is simply something uncontrollable. I also can’t watch surgeries, shots or any painful thing like a fight or a battle because it feels like it is happening to me. I can’t separate from observed pain. So you see, not being able to cry is both a blessing and a curse, just like not being able to control crying. We are all such blends of fortune and misfortune. Happy New Year. Judy

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      1. calensariel

        Thanks, Judy, for your take on it. I think it’s always made me feel a bit . . . um . . . inhumane, even though I feel things very deeply. You just don’t get to pick the childhood experiences that have such an impact on you.

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  2. Allenda Moriarty

    I remember your boo hooing on more than one occasion. I find tears refreshing and certainly a good form of release. Exhausting at times, but necessary to maintain my equilibrium which is slanted towards excessive laughter rather than tears. Wishing you few tears and much happiness in the coming HAPPY NEW YEAR.

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