Get the Hint and Please, Repent!

Get the Hint and Please, Repent!

A door that opens with a creaky hinge
is sure to make me frown and cringe,
but nothing makes me shiver more
than a lengthy lecture by a raving bore.

When at a party, I walk away
as they pontificate and bray,
but at a lecture or in church
one just can’t leave them in the lurch.

This is when a raging cough
quickly developed, can get one off.
A rapid exit towards the door
delivers you from any more.

More naive listeners might excuse
since they have not seen through your ruse.
More clever ones view your quick exit
wishing they had thought of it!

So those who think they have much wit
and find it difficult to quit
when displaying it to others
(with the exception of their mothers,)

take heed when those you’ve asked to gather
to hear your blah blah blah and blather
start to cough and start to hack,
bolt out the door and don’t come back!!!

The Prompt: Cringe-Worthy–What’s most likely to make you squirm?

9 thoughts on “Get the Hint and Please, Repent!

  1. Roberta Rich

    Judy, What you are describing is a medical condition called M.E.D. (male explanatory disease). It develops in men at about the same time the prostate starts to give out.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Anna Sime

    I have done this once or twice and know it works. My problem is that it seems to take a lot of nerve for me to begin that cough, knowing that it will probably sound fake. BUT it has gone me out of extremely dull and tedious one-way conversations. Thanks for reminding me of this. The only place it might not work is in a long car ride.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ann O'Neal Garcia

    You are not only FUNNY but you hit on so many universal truths. It is indeed awful to be trapped by a braying bore!!! Quick exits are sometimes lovely. I have a story to tell, that kind of fits. I was at that religious college, GC, and my sweet right wing friends convinced me to go to a reunion. The preacher was making his “call to the altar” to sinners who wanted to repent. Suddenly I realized I was very ill, urgently ill and had to leave! had to GO, more like it. I shot up out of my pew and people around me called out, Praise the Lord and Amen, Sister, that’s right! but instead of heading for altar, I made it to the vestibule where I couldn’t open the damned door. An elder came to help me, but I threw up copiously in the vestibule in front of the door and left without even apologizing, cuz I was still sick. I made a beeline to Grama’s house, throwing up the whole way.

    Liked by 1 person


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