Perfectly Formed

Version 2

Perfectly Formed

We demand perfection in so many things––
performances most flawless, cars that sport no dings,
trophy wives to greet us at the door each night
with Ivory complexions and bodies toned just right.
My kid’s an honor student, your child a beauty queen.
If we have other children, they are more rarely seen.
In our quest for perfection, somehow the TV
Has become our standard for reality.
Silicone injections in our lower cheeks,
surgery reducing our stomachs, thighs and beaks.
If we’re not born perfect, thank God that we can buy it.
Every ordinarily attractive gal should try it!
I heard there was a sale on for tummy tucks and lifts––
promoting them as valentines and other midlife gifts.
And so I declared myself my own valentine
and began to plan a body that was really really fine.
I started with love handles and worked up to my neck.
‘Til I’d made a total rehab out of this old wreck.
If I had been born perfect, I’d probably be blue.
I would have had to figure out something else to do.
Perhaps I would have learned to make those statues on my shelf
instead of concentrating on adjustments to myself!

This poem is a spoof––no tummy tucks yet. When I was growing up, there was a feature in the “Reader’s Digest” entitled “The Perfect Squelch.” In it, they would share perfect examples of verbal “one-up-manship.” Now that’s the kind of perfection I can appreciate. I’d love to hear your examples  of perfect squelches you’ve made or heard in the comments section below. I also have a “perfect photos” piece I’m working on, but I’ve run out of time as I have a birthday party to go to, so come back later for the photos I meant to accompany this poem.

14 thoughts on “Perfectly Formed

      1. hirundine608

        I suppose, Judy? Do, I think you are being serious every time you pen another poem?

        Of course not. It tickles our senses. Still, you raise the topic in your inimitable manner and it gives me that food for thought and response. Obviously I do not consider every poem, is your stance on life. Nor are my responses anything definitive. I’ve always been intrigued with the way fractals govern our world. From the way they create coastlines to flowers and life itself. Fractals come close to perfection.

        To myself; my girlfriend, lover and prospective wife. Is perfect. Yet it’s those unique flaws, that make her so. They are deal makers, not breakers. Hope that all makes sense? Maybe there’s a perfect squelch there? Somewhere? Rock on, Cheers Jamie.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. lifelessons Post author

          I agree, Jamie.. It has always been my contention that we love our friends for their faults as well as their strengths. Especially if we share those faults. Life, if it has any meaning at all, is meant to be a puzzle for us to work out and our flaws are those things that give the puzzle a few obstacles to increase the challenge.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Glen

    Regarding the perfect squelch (or thought provoker), here is a song lyric from Kris Kristofferson (perhaps.) If not him, perhaps one of Judy’s readers can tell me who said it. I do use it, but I only get it out there to admire. I don’t have the guts to use it to challenge those whom I think ought to hear it.
    “Everyone needs someone to feel better than; if you can’t find nobody else, then help yourself to me.”
    Snide and noble. Dismissive and engaging. A conversation starter or stopper. Subtle and potent. (Ooo like wow, man. Sounds like herbal medicine.)


    1. lifelessons Post author

      It was Kris, Glen:
      Jesus was a Capricorn
      He ate organic food
      He believed in love and peace
      And never wore no shoes

      Long hair, beard and sandals
      And a funky bunch of friends
      Reckon may just nail Him up
      If He come down again

      ‘Cause everybody’s gotta have somebody to look down on
      Prove they can be better than at any time they please
      Someone doin’ somethin’ dirty, decent folks can frown on
      You can’t find nobody else, then help yourself to me

      Kris Kristofferson – Jesus Was A Capricorn Lyrics

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Marilyn Armstrong

    I’ve had so much surgery about which I had no choice, I can’t imagine volunteering for more. Besides, so many of the poster people for plastic surgery don’t even look human after a while. They look … weird.



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