Inelegant Obsession

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/elegant/

Inelegant Obsession

I’d love to be elegant while I’m obsessing,
but if I told you how, I’d only be guessing.
The man at the counter said yoga’s the answer
to two hour waits, and smart cars and cancer.

I told him that yoga’s more easily done
in my pool or on mats spread out in the sun––
Not two hours before midnight when you’re feeling sad
’cause the car you pre-rented is not to be had

and instead you’re confronted with a Jeep Cherokee
with all bells and whistles included for free!
Yet each feature they’ve added is cryptic and puzzling.
Screen like a space ship and gasoline-guzzling.

I can’t find the lighter to plug in my Nuvi.
The radio screen is showing a movie,
but I can’t find a plug to plug in my phone
and I’m out in this parking lot, stressed and alone.

After one hour of standing and waiting to rent it
and one more in the parking lot, how I repent it!
I go on the road in the inky black dark
with no place to stop and no place to park.

My GPS empty of power and knowledge,
to find the right route would take training in college.
No route numbers have I, I can’t see the map.
My phone out of power sits limp on my lap.

The screen gives me options for stations galore,
but no arrow to choose them, just one button more
for feature after feature that I cannot use.
I wish I had knowledge.  I wish I had booze!!!

When I try to turn on the overhead light,
the moonroof zips open and try as I might,
I can’t get it closed but just open it more,
so the wind whips my hair with a terrible roar.

I’ve always loved traveling wild and free,
but it now seems travel’s evolved beyond me.
Where is my confidence and my elan?
That air of achievement, that air of “I can?”

When I get to the motel two hours in arrears,
when the clerk asks how are you, I explode in tears.
I tell him my story, like a silly old fool––
but he doesn’t snicker and he isn’t cruel.

“See that?” he said, waving a hand at my phone.
He shook his gray head and gave a small moan.
“Don’t know how to use one–not me nor my wife.
It seems like technology’s plaguing our life.”

He dished out a Kleenex and almost at once,
I found I was feeling much less of a dunce.
I may be a fool and an old one at that,
but it’s so reassuring to share that coned hat!

img_5270

This control board of the plane I flew from Prince Edward Island to Nova Scotia on is slightly less daunting than the dashboard of the Jeep Cherokee they pawned off on me as a replacement for the simple economy car I requested. The flight took one half hour. Renting the car (even though I’d filled out all the paperwork on the internet) and figuring out how to operate the monstrosity they gave me took two hours!!!

img_5312

The beast!!! I still haven’t figured out how to turn on the radio and tremble at the thought of mistakenly turning on the four wheel drive.

I later snapped a photo that better illustrates the size of this car.  See that photo HERE.

The prompt word today was “Elegant.” This was stretching the prompt, but I had my own agenda.

16 thoughts on “Inelegant Obsession

  1. Cee Neuner

    You poor baby. Our Explorer is a 2004 (or 2003). I would hate to have to drive a new vehicle. Hope you get some rest. I’m glad you didn’t drive all the way and flew some. 😀

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    Reply
  2. hirundine608

    Not sure but the 4 wheel is probably automatic? That’s to say, it senses slippage then compensates. Glad to know it’s not just me that finds the technology daunting. I’ve had my Samsung phone for a year now and can’t seem to upload the photos on it to my imac? I’ve had small success. For some reason Google Drive on my phone does not translate toa cloud or something. You would think that just being in Drive, makes it show up across platforms … sigh.

    I’ve Googled and followed more than I care.
    All I might say is, user beware.

    The car probably has bluetooth? Have you looked for the user’s manual? The plugin’s for the newer cars are no longer “cigarette lighters”. They are ports, etc. Many cars have the USB connections built in. Best wishes and good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. lifelessons Post author

      Actually, there was a cigarette lighter but it was hidden under a little door that was labeled with a label I never would have guessed indicated a cigarette lighter.. And it was pitch black and I couldn’t find the lights. It would have been a different story if I’d gotten out into the lot when it was still light..or if I could have gotten online, but the parking structure blocked internet signals and once I got out of the garage, there was no place to stop. The 4 lane divided road started the minute I exited. I did better today in the light. And a part I left out was that I eventually called my friend Forgottenman in Missouri, he google searched the way and got me to the motel.. just in the nick of time. In another 2 minutes I would have passed it by.

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      Reply
  3. Christine Goodnough

    Oh, how I sympathize! Been there, done that.
    My cousin ordered a new Chrysler something-or-other for me through a car rental co. at the airport. I was given a rapid-fire “this-that-and-the-other” from the young clerk and I drove off. Alas, when I stopped and parked I had to phone the rental company to find out how to shut the thing off, since there was no key at all! Answer: a button on the dash.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. lifelessons Post author

      They didn’t give me a bit of instruction. I had to have two different attendants come out to show me stuff and of course you drive away and all this other stuff creates puzzles. I guess I”d better walk or take public transport if I can’t take my own car next time. I like things simple. Phones that make phone calls. Cars that give you rides.

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      Reply
  4. Marilyn Armstrong

    And that is exactly WHY we were so happy to buy a 2012 Jeep Patriot without anything but the essential stuff. At least we can usually figure out how to turn on the wipers and turn OFF the 4WD! New cars are like space ships … and we aren’t pilots.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Big Beast, Little Brat!!! | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

  6. slmret

    This summer, my trusty 5 year-old Camry was decimated by a drunk driver (sideswiped while it was parked, so no injuries except to the car). As a result, I have rented 3 cars during the summer — one with a hand brake that I couldn’t find it where it should be (a hand brake rather than one you push with your left foot or knee); one that seemingly turned itself off at stop lights, but on again just before the light turned green, and one with a seat to windshield ratio that made it impossible to see out! New cars are scary!

    Liked by 1 person

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