Creatures under Rain
All day long, the rain came down
to soak the mountain, drench the town.
Each dog stayed in to curl into
his protective curlicue.
I took their lead and kept inside
as the world around me cried and cried.
Though I won’t say that I’m feeling down,
I do not choose to paint the town
and marks on paper have turned into
other than a curlicue.
I painted what I felt inside
with words that folded in and cried.
Their pigments bled and rivered down
joining currents from the town,
and tears from other creatures, too,
joined this watery curlicue.
This whirlpool that we’d kept inside
joined us together as we cried.
The sun comes up and moon goes down
over country, lake and town.
Illumination cycles, too,
through nature’s dizzying curlicue.
When we share these truths we’ve found inside,
others hear what we’ve decried.
The whole world may be feeling down
dreading contact with the town.
The words we free may catch them, too,
in their discursive curlicue,
loosening pain they’ve kept inside—
dispelling tears they might have cried.
I was intrigued by the self-set challenge of composing a five stanza poem where each stanza made use of the same six rhyming words in the same order. I think it isn’t terribly noticeable except for the unusual world “curlicue” that eventually tips the reader off as to what is happening. Still, it was an engaging challenge to make it work six times.What should I name this form? Six-Step? Any other ideas? The prompt today is creature.
Very well executed. First prize for your poem. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for the honor. Do I win a ribbon?
LikeLike
Oh, well done!
LikeLiked by 2 people
What an interesting poetic format! And I like that you used the repetition of the rain as well (we have almost forgotten what rain is — there’s none predicted for the next couple of weeks, and then it’s only 3 weeks till the end of the rainy season!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Go out on your porch or verana or terazza and read the words of the poem aloud. They will bring rain. Be sure to wish for the right amount.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’ll try that — but it’s hard to seed the clouds when there aren’t any in the sky!
LikeLike
Fascinating challenge and well met! Brava!
LikeLiked by 2 people
You mean well-obsessed over? It only had to be one photo! I got carried away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I happen to admire your “carrying away”!
LikeLike
lol love it, add a sixth stanza and you can call it sixbysix or rhyming tricks 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow.
LikeLiked by 1 person