Here are my answers to this Friday’s questions:

1. Jonah wasn’t swallowed by a whale…he was swallowed by ennui. 
2. Who (or what) could make even the fiercest pirate quake in his boots? The dentist.
3. What did Huckleberry Finn have to really paint?  Aunt Polly’s toenails.
4. What is the best food that can be paired with red wine? Spam.
5. What are you wearing on the sun? A sun bonnet.
6. Why do dogs chase after cars? In hopes of a ride.
7. What did the cat say to its kitten about the humans? “These creatures were created to be our servants, kids, but be polite to them. Otherwise, they may spit in the food!!”
8. Goldfish are not fish. What are they? Misspelled adjectives describing  golf aficionados.
9. What would you rather do instead of sleeping? Play loud music at 3 in the morning to wake up sleepers.
10. The Phantom didn’t haunt the Opera House…he haunted the  Smart TV.
11. What is the most intelligent life form on Earth? Cats.  (Had to tell the truth on this one.)
12. Why did we really go to school? To get to the other side.
13. What did teachers do during recess? Smoked doobies and played poker.
14. How did you get to school? Pogo Stick and Parachute.
15. What was life like before the Internet? It was a magazine back then as well.
16. What is the best thing about social media? It is non-mandatory.
17. What is your favorite thing to put chocolate sauce on? Pizza
18. Doctors were all wrong…humans don’t need water. What do they need? Handi-wipe Pre-moistened Towels.
19. Dolphins are not mammals. What are they? Those that aren’t mammals are poppals.
20. There is a Lost Dutchman’s Mine, but where is it? In the Lost and Found.

For Fibbing Friday.  Here’s the link: https://thehauntedwordsmith.wordpress.com/2019/02/01/fibbing-friday-2/