If Things Should Return to Normal

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If Things Should Return to Normal

Just in case the world we know ever returns to normal,
I feel we’ll need reminders for behavior less informal.
So, let me reacquaint you with the former art of dressing.
Introducing color-matching, underwear and pressing.
It’s been a number of months now—five, to be precise—
since there was the necessity to put on something nice
and face the maze of traffic to go to an event.
So before you visit places where you once often went,
you may require reminders, lest in trips to spots exalted
you could find your entry may otherwise be halted.
Entrance to most restaurants requires shirt and shoes,
along with all your other clothes. Forget this, and you’ll lose
precious hours driving home to remedy the fact
that you’ve forgotten basics of how you used to act.
Out there in the real world, genteel folks do not dare
to go about half-dressed and it’s good to cut your hair.
Put on a little lipstick and tweeze hairs from your chin.
Do not gobble down your food and do not slurp your gin.
When the world returns to normal and you go out once more,
just in case, please pin this little check-list to your door.
Though reminders may be premature, be glad that you have gotten them,

for by the time they’re needed, I’ll most likely have forgotten them.

Prompt words today are maze, precious, introducing, exalt and dress.

21 thoughts on “If Things Should Return to Normal

  1. Judy

    For all of us who have worn nothing but yoga pants and pjs on the bottom while we fancy up the top for all our Zoom sessions. Thanks Judy. It’s good to remember dressing up, going out, eating in public with another person. (sigh)

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  2. SAM VOELKER

    Love it, well done~! Only wish these red neck Texans would take their hat off at the table~! They will not put on their face mask or take off their hat’s in public. My mother would never let us come to the table if we were not properly dressed, Now, if it is only finger food, I sometime eat sitting in my lazy chair, while watching TV, with a dog on my lap begging, and a cat sitting on the next chair looking hungry~! Guess that is our reward for putting up with life~! Do you remember when a man would tip his hat when passing a lady~? I do, as was common in the South~!

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    1. lifelessons Post author

      You’d think they wouldn’t want to risk dipping them in the spaghetti sauce.. or more likely bbq sauce. My dad’s only rule was that we couldn’t sing at the table. Isn’t that a strange one? Recently I saw a movie where the father said the same thing! I had never heard of anyone else inflicting that rule before and I’ve always wondered what instigated it? Which one of us was off-key?

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  3. SAM VOELKER

    Oh I never heard the singing part, normally the most we would say at the table was: “please pass the rice and gravy”. The nearest I ever came to getting a whipping by my dad was at the table. My mother was up tight that day and said: “If I hear any one else say potatoes again, I am going to scream”. Under my breath I said: “potatoes”. My dad got up, went in his shop, and came back with a paddle he had whittled out of an apple box stave. (he did this in less than a minute !) He then told me: “if I ever hear you mouth off at your mother again I am going to break this over your butt~!” I never did, he never did, and that paddle hung on a nail in the house until I went off off to school. My DAD had a big booming, voice that carried authority when he needed it to, but was otherwise a kind loving man with us.. But I still have a problem of that mouthing off thing; now that he and that paddle are no longer around. (but I guess you already know this)

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      1. lifelessons Post author

        I just now remembered a similar scene with my father. We were on one of those rare family trips and my sister and I were sparring in the back seat. Both my mother and father had told us to stop. Earlier years, our squabbles had been over who was taking up the largest share of the seat. (This was pre-seatbelts.) To solve the problem, my dad bought a car with a pull-down cushioned center divider. Of course, we then squabbled over who got to put her head on that center divider! We just wouldn’t stop, even after my dad’s second or third warning, so he calmly pulled over to the gravel edge of the two-lane road, got out of the car, climbed over a barbed-wire fence, walked purposefully down to a little draw that had willow trees in it, cut a switch with his pocket knife and walked back to the car. He said nothing. Just set the switch on the front seat between himself and my mother, put the car in gear and drove away. (Yes, of course we were still in the back seat!) But, we said not a word for about an hour and didn’t squabble at least for the rest of the day!!!

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        1. slmret

          HAha — we used to complain mightily on road trips — it’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too windy, etc. One time Daddy responded to a complaint by ‘reminding’ us that we were part of the Poasasu Indian tribe (Put on another sweater and shut up!). We then also had the Toysasu Tribe when it was too warm!

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