Pills or Porn


Pills or Porn

My Spam mail’s always full of it, midnight, day or morn.
Who told them I’m in need of a daily dose of porn?
If I took the Viagra that they offer to me daily,
I wouldn’t be in need of porn to end my evenings gaily.

I’d simply cruise the malecón in search of company
flirting with each senior dude that I happen to see.
I’d freeze him with a subtle wink and flash one of my smiles,
then win him over quickly with coquettish wiles.

If he has any qualms at all, due to his advanced age,
I’d flash further encouragement that’s come to be the rage.
With great sophistication and a sense of calm,
I’d show him the Viagra I have stashed in my palm.

But this poem is misleading if you think I’m reliant
on you as a supplier. I’m not a likely client.
For vendors of Viagra, I have a tale of woe:
I can get it cheaper right here in Mexico!

Thanks to Lisa Coleman of  Our Eyes Open  for the suggestion that I turn a comment regarding Spam mail into a blog.  I was commenting about receiving 96 Spam messages in one day and most of them being about pills or porn. Oh man, is this blog every going to bring in a lot of Spam concerning Amoxicillin, Viagra and pornography!!! See how I sacrifice for you?

This entry was posted in Humor, humorous poem, Poetry and tagged on by .

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

24 thoughts on “Pills or Porn

  1. Paulie

    Ha! You’ve successfully managed to put to good use something that we all have no use for. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one getting bombarded with spam.
    Thank you for taking one for the team.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  2. Christine Goodnough

    I really admire how you can rattle off on intelligent poem about any subject! And now you’ve inspired me to look through my SPAM queue. Hmmm…106 messages. Here’s an appropriate one:
    Hello, I read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just curious if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me insane so any help is very much appreciated.
    Which sounds quite legit until I look where it’s coming from and see five more with slightly different wording coming from the same mysterious source.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
    1. lifelessons Post author

      Yes. I see the same response sent for blog after blog with just a few words changed. Why can’t WP put blocks on certain words…such as Amoxicillin and erectile dysfunction and Viagra? That would help a lot. Or why don’t they give us the ability to? I also get loooooong emails that are written in some different alphabet and impossible to interpret. It is a hoot that your response went into Spam! Forgottenman saved the day.

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  3. Terri Webster Schrandt

    Oh this just cracked me up, Judy! What is with the spam messages? Who would click on them anyhow? We all get them. I’ve minimized mine by disabling comments on my about me page. I was getting 100 a day in Spanish no less, from one site. I disabled comments on that page and they never returned. Anyway, great poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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