A Little Tip
Although I’m a big tipper, no gratificación
will be awaiting waiters who linger on the phone
and let my soup or burger get cold up on the shelf.
I’ll send my food back to the chef and spend your tip myself!
I’ve declared a moratorium on mandatory tips.
My money will not cross your palm if cold food meets my lips.
If you’re somewhere slumbering and my drink is late,
will it affect the money left beneath my plate?
You can bet your lazy ass it will. So get your butt in gear
before my lips get parched and dry from waiting for a beer.
If my bread basket is meager and the bread is old and dry,
I’ll save your 25 percent for another guy.
I’ll give it as a baksheesh for some kid that I pass
who hasn’t done a thing for me—just like your sorry ass.
Lagging in your service won’t win a lagniappe.
Lollygagging will not put a feather in your cap.
So if you seek a tip from me, attention will be fateful.
I only give gratuities for service when I’m grateful!
Word prompts today are slumber, moratorium, meager and lagniappe. Photo downloaded from Unsplash with permission.
lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
Love the sentiment even as i know it is for word prompts. Good job
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Another wonderful poem. I’m always glad tipping is not mandatory in the UK. So often a server really doesn’t deserve it. Good work, Judy.
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Yes, ‘em. Glad to see another devotee. I’ve risen for my own (cooling) lattes. $5 plus tip for tepid hot cafe au lait? I don’t think so!
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25%? Wow, that is very generous, 10% is the norm in the UK. I usually tip unless I am part of a large party where the 10% service charge has already been added to the bill. That said, I think it’s wrong that we are expected to tip by paying more for our food/service that we are already paying for. If our waiters/waitresses were paid a decent wage for their efforts in the first place we wouldn’t need to top up their salaries.
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Actually, I usually tip 20 percent, which is standard in the U.S. The 25 percent just suited the rhythm better.
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I enjoyed the rhythm of your poem.
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Thanks, Sue.
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