Gems from the Past

My mailbox is totally full, so I’ve been deleting old emails from the past 22 years. I had deleted about 2,000  without reading them,  when I chanced to read a couple  and realized that there are some real gems there, so I’m going to share a few with you. (2,000 down, 37,000 to go! No exaggeration.).  Here is one from 2010: 

A 1stgrade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class.  She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.  It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders.  Their insight may surprise you.   While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders,  6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic! 

1. Don’t change horses until they stop running.
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It’s always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can’t teach an old dog new Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there’s smoke there’s pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two’s company, three’s the Musketeers.
18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded..
22. If at first you don’t succeed get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way
25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

26 Better late than Pregnant

Should children witness childbirth? Good question. 

Here’s your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby…
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed And pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed..
Kathleen quickly responded, ‘He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place…..smack his butt again!’

If you don’t laugh at this one, there’s no hope for you.

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About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

24 thoughts on “Gems from the Past

  1. claudiajustsaying

    This is precious, thankfully you didn’t previously delete this one. I have a delete compulsion. I read and or delete daily. Why? It’s the environmentally friendly thing to do. Image paying for a storage unit for the world’s junk mail to be air conditioned.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. slmret

      I had a joke recently with a friend in a conversation about throwing away old papers — I made a comment about the cost of having it all shredded, and she told me I could take out a loan for the cost — or perhaps even a mortgage!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sam

        You don’t know the half of it Judy. Because I can not get help to get all those branches and trees cut and removed, I have been doing a little of it each day myself. BUT using that power saw has aggravated my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and I can hardly close my left hand with the right one not far behind. On top of that from looking up, to use the pole saw, I have aggravated my pinched neck nerve and now that is a pain in the neck. Thank goodness for that new spa which I wisely chose specially to hit the sore parts~! So a couple of hot sittings each day is helping me exist and crying is only the worse I can do~!. But I still have a lot of branches to cut and move. I am supposed to see my doctor next week, and also supposed to get outside help to pick up and remove all of the cut branches.

        My friend Ginny is now retired but will spend time in Washington DC this coming week then toward the end of the month we will start thinking about a Mexico Trip. I will ask her to edit your writings while she is here, but in the meantime, I am really pleased with the Subject Matter and approach~!s



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