Tag Archives: Humor

“Other People’s Children” For Blast from the Blog, Nov 7

 

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Other People’s Children

Rowdy jostlers—twisters, hoppers.
Shouting loudly, upsetting shoppers,
they run up aisles and spar with hangers.
Turn shopping cart races into bangers.

They bark our shins, assault our ears,
yet no one stops these mannerless dears;
for the behavior others find so irksome,
the parents merely view as quirksome.

 

This is what I wrote on this date ten years ago!

“My First Love Letter” for Cracking Open The Content Time Capsule!

Here is a post from my blog of 9 years ago on this date, Oct.24 for Cracking Open The Content Time Capsule!

Oops.. More Share Your World of Hospitals!!!

I almost forgot the most important photo in my hospital theme for today’s “Share Your World.”  When we were going through some papers, my sister Patti shared with me this copy of a letter she dictated to my sister Betty and sent to the hospital with my dad after  I was born.  Since I was born on July 3 and she was born on July 9, we must have still been in the hospital a week later! Did they keep new mothers in the hospital for that long back then? Evidently! She was 4. My other sister who wrote the letter for her was 11. Patti insisted that I was a boy.  (My dad had teasingly said they were going to name me Hazel.) Thanks, Dad, for not following through.  Here is the letter as dictated by Patti and written down by Betty Jo:

IMG_2955

And, if you want to see a continuation of this story, look HERE!!!

https://ceenphotography.com/2017/10/23/share-your-world-october-23-2017/

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15 thoughts on “Oops.. More Share Your World of Hospitals!!!”

  1. Pingback: My Greeting in St. Louis | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown (Edit)

Oops.. More Share Your World of Hospitals!!!

I almost forgot the most important photo in my hospital theme for today’s “Share Your World.”  When we were going through some papers, my sister Patti shared with me this copy of a letter she dictated to my sister Betty and sent to the hospital with my dad the day I was born.  She was 4. My other sister who wrote the letter for her was 11. Patti insisted that I was a boy.  (My dad had teasingly said they were going to name me Hazel.) Thanks, Dad, for not following through.  Here is the letter as dictated by Patti and written down by Betty Jo:

IMG_2955

And, if you want to see a continuation of this story, look HERE!!!

https://ceenphotography.com/2017/10/23/share-your-world-october-23-2017/

Post navigation

15 thoughts on “Oops.. More Share Your World of Hospitals!!!”

  1. Pingback: My Greeting in St. Louis | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown (Edit)

Fibbing Friday

Hell’s a Poppin

This week’s fibs below!

1. What is the difference between Biweekly and a Fortnight? One is a periodical for pansexuals, the other a military periodical.
2. How much oil would your lantern need to last a fortnight? None. It will last with or without oil. How much oil would your lantern need to stay lit for a fortnight is a different thing entirely.
3. If you spent a fortnight in Paris, what would you see? Lots of soldiers.

4. What’s the difference between a microchip and a micro chip? One hit on the space bar.
5. What’s brown, shiny and sizzles? Dog poopies on a hot sidewalk.
6. How is the best way to make lemonade? With lemons.
7. How many types of coke are there? Two. Liquid and Powder.
8. Why was a sundae glass so named? All the other days of the week were taken.
9. What is hellsapoppin? Headline of the Inferno Gazette the day Orville Redenbacher arrived.
10.What did the Knights of the Round Table do during the day? Catch up on their sleep.

For Fibbing Friday.

“Unfortunate Choices” for Can You Tell A Story In. . .

Peeking  out through the stage curtains, the comic realized he would be pirouetting on eggshells as he wrestled with syllables sure to displease this audience of militant women. He wished he’d checked out who his audience would be before choosing his topic. “Barefoot and Pregnant” was not going to win applause tonight!

need 6 words

For “Can You Tell A Story In…”  the task set is:

Can you tell a story in 52 words using the following words in it somewhere:

  • PIROUETTE
  • COMIC
  • EGG
  • WRESTLER
  • SYLLABLE

(Image by AI)

Nate White on Donald Trump

Someone asked “Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”
Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England, wrote this magnificent response: Taken from his X post at https://x.com/Ipitythepoorfo1/status/1317856496647049217
“A few things spring to mind.Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem.
For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed.
So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.
Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever.
I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman.
But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.
Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers.
And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.
There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface.
Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront.
Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul.
And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.
Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that.
He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat.
He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.
And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully.
That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead.
There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.
So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:
* Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.
* You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.
This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss.
After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.
God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid.
He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart.
In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.
And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish:
‘My God… what… have… I… created?
If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”
With thanks to Rhonda Schrader, Ray DiFazio and Michael Lussier, who all republished this piece before it finally made its way to me.

Unfortunate License Plate Spotted in Billings, Montana

My sister Patti spotted this license plate in Billings, Montana in 2016. We think he must have meant it to read “Retired.” We both saw it as something else!!! Hopefully he has since changed his vanity plate. (That last letter is a “d” not an “o”.)

To “L” With It, for Fibbing Friday, July 11, 2025

Another Friday brings yet another opportunity to fib.  Here is this week’s Fibbing Friday challenge:
To ‘L’ with it this week: Some may be familiar, so fib away with your definitions, please.

1. Lunkhead: A certain American president
2. Lugubrious: a feeling of dread and gloom brought on by the process of carrying numerous heavy boxes when in the process of moving from one house to another.
3. Lickspittle: What dogs do to the faces of owners who are sputtering in rage.
4. Lampoon: An ironic humorously-shaped lamp fixture
5. Lollywater: The product of rinsing off a child’s sucker when they drop it on the ground.
6. Lollypopper: A child pulling a Tootsie Roll Pop out of their pursed lips.
7. Lumpen: A small swelling.
8. Loofah: Polite slang for the letting of a small fart while on the potty.
9. Lippy: One’s condition after a botox injection.
10. Lughole: Something it is impossible to do.

“Sign of the Chameleon,” for Esther’s Writing Prompts, June 25, 2025

I can’t resist reblogging this blog that I wrote 11 years ago and because I liked the comments as much as the blog, I’m reblogging them, too. This reblog is published for Esther’s Writing Prompts because this week’s prompt is ‘Signs.” If you want to publish your own response to her prompt, a link to it is given at the end of this post. Thanks, Esther.

Sign of the Chameleon

For Esther’s Writing Prompts, the prompt word is “Sign.”

“Wrinkles” for MVB, Sept 25, 2024

When it comes to aging, I’ve found a sense of humor becomes ever more important. Take the subject of wrinkles, for instance! I wrote this poem ten years ago and when I look in the mirror, I realize its truth has only become more obvious!!!

Wrinkles

Once when I was younger, poundage was the thing—
as I obsessed about the growth calories might bring.
Every morning on the scale, I checked for extra girth.
Any extra poundage was how I gauged my worth.
But now that I am older, I check the mirror first
before I stop to weigh myself or slake my morning thirst.
First thing on my agenda, if I have the chance,
is to approach my mirror to have a daily glance.
Now every little wrinkle, every little line
viewed within my mirror brings a little whine.
But when I step upon the scale, there’s less there to regret.
If I’ve gained a pound or two, I vow just to forget.
For if I’ve found new wrinkles, all that I can say
is every extra pound I gain just stretches them away.

For MVB the prompt is : humor

Completely Finished!!!!

Thanks to Eleanor Vogt for sending me this humorous bit of information:

Is it “Complete“, “Finished“, or “Completely Finished“?   No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words, “Complete” or “Finished“.
 
In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by supposedly the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes. The final question was: How do you explain the difference between Complete and Finished in way that is easy to understand?
 
Some contestants said there was no difference between “Complete” and “Finished“.
 
Here is Mr. Balgobin’s astute answer:   “When you marry the right woman, you are Complete.   When you marry the wrong woman, you are Finished.   And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are Completely Finished.
 
He won a trip around the world and a case of 25-year Scotch.