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lifelessons - a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown 
Absolutely spot on.
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Patriarchy will do whatever it takes to stay large and in charge. Good luck, Fellas, we’re coming for you.
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Funny…today in the process of combing through and deleting old posts I happened on my post about the debate between HRC and TFG. One thing from that post struck me; the moderator did not call out TFG for what was abusive behavior, walking behind HRC, standing too close to her, shouting “Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!” and a whole raft of other things. Why wasn’t he called out? I do not know the answer but enough men in my life treated me that way that it’s possible the moderator ( a woman, conceivably also having been treated this way) didn’t even notice it. I don’t know. Patriarchy is a kind of normal…
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This was the FIRST political battle (age 17) in which I was an active participant. Of course I agree, but I also know that this isn’t my fight anymore. By the time your granddaughter is old enough to have children, this needs to move downward to a younger generation. It was our fight when we were young and it’s their fight now. They are welcome to all the emotional support — and votes — I can offer, but younger people — especially women — have to fight this with a lot more vigor then I’m seeing.
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I agree, but I also want to say that it is one of a million things that is being fought right now. It is exhausting. Reproductive rights, glass ceilings, being treated like we don’t matter all of the time, having friends who are treated worse, people being beaten, shot, education, inflation, working multiple jobs because the sperm donors think it’s unfair that they should financially help because “her boyfriend should do it,” student loans, medical debt, stolen identities, it’s a crazy world. Everything that women have fought for has happened, now it’s all being threatened all at once. It’s a gigantic battle that is nearly impossible to wage. Everyone knows that if you fight a war on more than one front you are spread thin and likely to lose, but what can we do? They ALL need to be fought, all at the same time, and we still need to be able to afford to eat. I can tell you, it’s exhausting. Vigor is much easier to muster when you have time to function, not easy in a world where people commonly attend school and work, have families and two jobs, or live alone with 3 jobs (looking for a fourth to make sure those ends meet, at least once). It’s a different world, and it’s nonstop. They are magicians, riling you up to pay attention over here while they’re doing the real disappearing trick over there. After a while, everyone is tired and sits down because it’s someone else’s fight, which is to be expected, but that’s unfortunately how they can attack. And win.
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Hear hear. Plus, lots of money and therefore influence. Campaign finance reform is a big part of the answer, but I fear it will never go through. I have a friend who asked his wife why she voted for Trump and she said, “I didn’t vote for Trump, I voted Republican!” How do you win against that?
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I hate that argument. Trump isn’t Republican – or wasn’t back then. Back then, Republicans had a grasp on reality. The most out there Republicans were people who thought that trickle down economics really did work and it was the people that messed it up. Now… I can’t even figure out where Republican is supposed to be. It’s like there’s a competition to see who can be the most NOT Republican ever and still get elected to some office somewhere. It literally makes no sense. It’s like saying Vermin Supreme speaks for Democrats.
I can tell you right now, if Vermin Supreme became the Democrat candidate, I’d be forced to go Republican. But, the candidate better be Republican, not a man wearing a boot on his head calling himself a Republican, which is what Trump was.
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Vermin is a good guy and frankly, given the quality of a lot of candidates, he makes as much sense as anyone else. I remember when he was first “running” (not) for office. I have one of his original posters in a frame in my bathroom.
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Oh, I think he’s a great guy and would be a fun person to have a drink with; but as President of the United States? It IS a joke. A joke taken so far it could be considered performance art. The same was true for Trump; at least that’s what most people thought at the time (some of us took it seriously). The reality is, he ran on the *idea* of bringing it back to the 1950’s, but actually ran on the *message* of the 1940’s, and sadly, that mentality still persists, even here in America.
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That’s kind of my point. If we are going to nominate and actually ELECT people who are absolutely unqualified for office, one fool is as good as another. We might as well have a friendly fool and a mean, ugly one.
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I’d rather elect people who ARE qualified… but apparently, I’m in the minority.
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Oh, I agree, but I don’t have anything to say about who they nominate. I am APPALLED at the lack of quality — overall — of candidates.
I think all this checking through people’s lives to see if they have ever done anything distasteful or which looks bad in the press probably discourages people from trying to run. I know Garry was offered the option to run for office multiple times and said “NO NO NO NO” each time. Not many of us are sufficiently squeaky clean to deal with that.
I’m in favor of civility and politeness, but I also think people should be allowed to change. I am not the person I was when I was in my 20s, yet if I wanted to run for office (I don’t!), anything I might have said way back than — and which I can barely remember — would be held against me as if I’d said it yesterday.
This doesn’t encourage people to run for office. We DO change. We are supposed to change. That’s what learning is about. We should be allowed to change our minds, make mistakes (and learn from them) and move on. But we don’t allow it — and THEN complain we don’t have high quality candidates.
Which one of us would be willing to put our entire lives under a microscope for the entire world to see? I wouldn’t.
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The dumbest question I’ve ever heard asked of a person running for President is, “have you ever smoked pot?” Who cares? How does that directly relate to the job they are applying for? If it’s been long enough that it’s out of your system, it’s long enough ago to leave it alone.
Have you ever used hard drugs?
Have you ever abused alcohol?
Have you ever abused another person or animal?
Have you ever been arrested?
“Have you ever assaulted someone jsut because you thought you were above the law?”
These are important questions.
Have you ever taken Tylenol or a pain that you couldn’t explain in your right pinky toe and it didn’t help? is NOT useful information for the public to make a decision. But it’s like they’ll do anything to keep the topic off of the actual politics, although I have no idea why.
I don’t know many who are discouraged merely by the skinning of the skeletons in their closet – the idea of working every day along side (really, in the vicinity of, but no one is actually working together) a bunch of people they can’t stand is usually what makes them say “not in this lifetime or the next or the one after that!”
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Amen!!!!
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When did dumb stuff become primary importance? We’re electing someone who has to run the country. If they smoke pot, they might be able to get other world leaders to relax lol
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And what a surprise that most people do NOT want to go through that kind of experience.
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Hahaha they can ask me. I don’t care. I got nothing to hide. And I’m not there to appease them, I’m there to talk policy lol
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I completely agree and I am glad I’m not young anymore. It’s a terrible world in which to be young. That being said, pick an issue and fight for it. No one can fight every battle on all fronts. So pick one. Focus. Make a difference.
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I understand what you’re saying, but how do you pick just one?
How do you decide your reproductive rights are more important than your ability to make a decent wage and live?
How do you decide that eating is more important than a woman’s right to consent?
How do you decide that a woman’s right to consent is more important than a woman’s right to choose (instead of her attacker having the right to choose AND coparent with her)?
This is all stuff that should not be an issue but still is. And this is just the tip of the current iceberg. It’s impossible to pick just one when literally ALL of them directly influence your life on the daily.
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But you DO have to pick one. It doesn’t mean the other issues aren’t important, but you can’t do it all. No matter how much it matters. You are far more likely to achieve something if you focus on ONE thing and do that with all your strength.
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