For Fibbing Friday the 13th, some of the word clues were difficult, to say the least, so be patient and sound them out with me, please!!!! (Illustration done by AI)

1.  What is a canopy? What you hand the lab assistant for your UTI test.
2.  What is a cookie? How the chef gets into the restaurant kitchen.
3.  What is a pup cup? A stinky chamber pot.
4.  What is a typhoon?  It is on a typed sheet of paper that requires correction.
5.  Why are nails sharp at one end? To enable them to scratch itches.
6.  What’s the difference between a chip and a fry? Both are beauty shop errors, but one is a faulty manicure and the other a faulty permanent.
7.  What is a shoe horn? A trumpet that signals a retreat during a battle.
8.  Why do spirit levels have bubbles? Because they are served with a carbonated mixer.
9.  Why do we have tea leaves but coffee grains? Because that’s the color mom wanted the eaves painted and because the housepainters spilled some of the brown paint from the walls onto the wheat plants in the window boxes. 
10. What is a diplomat? A judge at a diving competition.