Tag Archives: Death of a loved one

Heading South

Heading South

My friend put on her traveling gown
for London was her sort of town
where mouths share tales and shoulders rub
when friends or strangers meet at the pub.

My friend put on her traveling gown
for Paris was her sort of town—
gone to the boulevard to eat
where strangers she perchance would meet.

A demitasse or two, or more,
a shared baguette or petit four—
approachable down to the bone.
Better not to eat alone.

She was a traveler, born to roam
when she was not ensconced in home.
Back home, a cat upon her lap.
Away from home, a well-creased map.

On maps, the south is always down,
be it Paris or London town.
So be not sad or down at mouth.
Our friend is merely going south!

As I grow older, I like to think
one day we’ll meet there for a drink.
Well-versed, our friend will show us where
to sip our coffee in open air.

Or snuggle in for shepherd’s pie
in company fit for roving eye.
To lift a pint or raise a glass
once we have joined her there en masse.


(Word came yesterday that my friend of 49 years had passed away in a London hotel room, where she was just finishing up a month long vacation.  If you haven’t read yesterday’s post, go HERE.)

Marilyn suggested this song which my poem reminded her of.  It is one of my favorites, so I’m including it here…the link provided by okcforgottenman. In his words,  ‘It is Fort Worth Blues, written by Steve Earle in tribute to the then recent passing of Townes Van Zandt. You can see him sing it HERE- in a Townes tribute on Austin City Limits. It’s a worthy tribute to Grimmer, too, I think.’

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/south/

Empty Studio

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Empty Studio

My memories
are footsteps
leading me to you.

I smell your scent of wood,
your sweat with the bouquet of bronze,
remember the finger you sacrificed
to impetuosity and art.

Finally the world fed all of you to the blade––
our severance as final as one of your straight sure cuts––
making you into memory I follow one step at a time,
my passing visible through stone dust
and wood shavings on the floor.

This is how you and I
create patterns
even after you are gone
from memories as fragmented
as what you left behind
when you created art––

stone chips, sawdust, pebbled glass,
curls of metal and winged shards of paper––
my footprints
pushing them farther apart
each time I pass through.
Leaving more of me
and less of you.

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https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/footsteps/

After Fifteen Years

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(If you are viewing this in the Reader, poem will not be formatted correctly.  Please click on the blog title above the photo to view this post from my blog where it will be in the correct shape.)

After 15 Years

Your memory                                                   cuts so sharply
through my dream’s beginning that I wake,
gasping like a fish on the sand
left by some fisherman
too intent upon his next catch
to end it cleanly.

In its tight skin,
I gasp for air,
rise as it cannot rise
and like you cannot rise
out to that night sea air
which is the only coolness
in a month of burned days.

My memory, curving round,
pulls in the memory of you
like gills seeking to understand
the waterless air.

Landed by some bigger fisherman
whose bait you couldn’t resist,
“Oh,” you said, just “Oh,”
before you took the hook,
slipping from my grasp
as I held on, held on,
let go.

Airborne

Version 2

Airborne

Way back in our salad years,
our endings were all sealed with tears
as each successive love affair
popped like a bubble into air.

Now that we’ve earned our seasoning,
more endings end in reasoning.
We understand that all things end
as lover, father, daughter, friend

begins to go the way of all
who stumble, falter, fade and fall.
It is the fate that’s given us,
with all our stories ending thus.

Accomplishments, possessions, love
are like the fingers of a glove
that, when all our work is done
peel off each finger, one by one.

Empty-handed, we leave this life–––
its pleasures, loving, stress and strife––
to join the welcoming arms of air.
To discover what awaits us there.

This morning, I awoke to the line, “Way back in our salad years,” running through my mind.  The next lines occurred as I let the dogs out and stumbled back to bed. I completed the poem before I looked at the daily prompt, and although it doesn’t meet the exact prompt, it seems to go along with the title of “Builds Character,” so here it is! https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/it-builds-character/

Ajijic, Mexico, Malecon––Bench Series: November

DSC00102 (1)The area along the malecon in Ajijic has become a sculpture garden where inhabitants of this lovely little pueblo commemorate their lost loved ones.  This bench serves as both sculpture and resting place.

/https://smallbluegreenwords.wordpress.com/2015/11/01/bench-series-44/

Soaring (Addendum to Plummeting)

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Bob, 1999

Soaring (Addendum to Plummeting)

A very close friend just Skyped me that today is the 14th anniversary of Bob’s death and commented on the coincidence that it was my topic today.  The fact that I really didn’t remember that today (although I’d thought of it twice in the past week) combined with the fact that today was one of the nicest days I’ve passed in years only goes to show that we come through the very worst experiences but survive and grow happy again and reach new highs. Bob was one of the great loves of my life (during the highs) and one of the greatest sadnesses (during the lows, including his illness and death.) This is how life goes. We all know this. But we need to remember that more highs will come and not give up. Person after person has proven this in their posts today. The last example, since I just read his post, is Mark. For those in the thralls of the lows: just keep strong and have faith that there is another mountain on the horizon. Love to all you strong people and those who feel weak but have a strength they need to remember!!! xoxoox Judy

P.S. Just noticed that we were supposed to tell what we’d learned from our up and down experiences.  I learned that we should not put off what we want to do.  Bob was so afraid that we would starve or go into bankruptcy if we retired that he put it off far beyond the time when he should have retired.  He waited too long!  The very hardest thing for me in moving to Mexico alone was all the times I thought, “Damn!  Bob would have loved this!” This was the hardest part of the first few years–harder even than my missing him.  Don’t wait.  Don’t put off your dreams.  Do them the minute it is humanly possible to do them.  We have control over what we do, but we don’t always have control over what is done to us by other people, fate or life in general.  The power we have is to act.  Now.  Do it!! (I’m talking to myself as well as you.)

If by chance you have my book “Lessons from a Grief Diary: Rebuilding Your Life after the Death of a Loved One” please read Bob’s poem “About My Mountain Poem” in the Appendix. It is a powerful poem about seizing opportunity in spite of the obstacles.  He lived this up to the end, but regrettably had a lapse and didn’t remember to live it soon enough.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/mountaintops-and-valleys/

I Heard the Owl Call Your Name: Serendipity Photo Prompt Chai (Life)

Looking through my photos to try to find something appropriate for the Chai (Life) prompt, and yet also thinking I wanted to find something for Nan, I came upon these pictures of Aztec dancers who were dancing in the Ajiic plaza right outside the cultural center where we had the dance performance for the second Camp Estrella group.  At the end of their performance, I heard the loud drumming and went out to find what I judged to be a thunderbird dance.  Certainly, this dancer looked like a thunderbird.  Growing up in South Dakota, I was very familiar with this Sioux symbol of thunder and lightning and rain, but I was a bit confused about why they would be executing a North American indigenous dance.

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It was only later, while editing, that I realized that it was not in fact a thunderbird, but rather a white owl, which can be seen very clearly from this front view.

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I then remembered how I was kept awake last night by the very loud hooting of an owl, which reminded me of the white owl who had swooped down over my yard on three different occasions the last time my friend Patty visited me.  She had seen it twice at night and was afraid I wouldn’t believe her until finally, one night, he appeared while I was outside as well. Then, the entire theme finally came together for me.  Legend has it that when you hear an owl call, someone near to you will be leaving this plane.

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I also love it that in the above picture, one of our camp participants is standing above the dancers in his own mask, made in the camp.  It is on top of his head.

And so Marilyn and Garry, here for you is the white owl that called Nan’s name. I hope you soon find peace in remembering what a wonderful life you shared with each other and in remembering what the owl teaches us: that death is just a part of life and that without it there could in fact be no life. Somehow the only way we ever seem to be able to try to comfort each other is in stating the obvious.

http://teepee12.com/2015/08/12/serendipity-photo-prompt-2015-18-chai-081215/

The Dance

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The Dance

Cheek to cheek and toe to toe,
whenever graceful dancers go
smoothly passing while I stand by
feet motionless, with dancing eye,
jealousy may rear her head
as I wish that it were me, instead–
held securely in my partner’s arms,
guided surely away from harms
of other dancers’ straying feet
or jutting elbows I might meet.

Steered through dangers into bliss
barely meeting the floor’s long kiss
as I soar and bend and sway and glide,
giving way to what’s inside
the music coming to live in me
setting all that’s in me free
stirring sadness at my core
and leaving it upon the floor
for other dancers to kick away
while only light parts choose to stay
within my heart as I dance on
from dark of night into the dawn.

I might feel sorry, sitting there,
no arms around me–only air.
Then I remember in the past
dancing nights I thought would last–
how all those partners have stepped away–
even the ones I hoped would stay.

Life has a way of leaving us
like hopeful riders passed by the bus
as it soars away with no seat left
those left behind feeling bereft.
Then I look deeper and clearly see
one day that bus will stop for me.
Something heavy grows inside
where it’s not good for it to bide.
I scoot back my chair to shift that stone
as I get up and dance alone.


The Prompt: The Green-Eyed Lady–We all get jealous now and then.  What awakens the green-eyed lady in you?

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/green-eyed-lady/

Routes Laid Out by Heavenly Bodies

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Routes Laid Out by Heavenly Bodies

The road of the moon
on the water
is a bridge
between us
leading me
to our new self.

When I am ready
to return
to what I was
before you,
that road
has vanished

but the sun
lights a different
pathway
and sends my shadow
ahead like a door
I seek to enter.

The oldest moon,
the sun at its birth
or just before its death
create  in us
just the suggestion
of a road.

That is why we rise early
for the sunrise,
gather for the sunset,
spill old blood,
howl howl
at the open moon.

This poem meets both prompts today. The NaPoWriMo prompt was to write a poem about a bridge. and the WordPress prompt was  “When the full moon happens, you turn into a person who is the opposite of who you normally are.  Describe this new you.”

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/the-full-moon/

New World Miracle: NaPoWriMo 2015, Day 9

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Today’s prompt is to write a visual poem.  This is one I tried to publish earlier this year when WordPress was not accepting pingbacks, so perhaps not many have seen it, and certainly not in this form, as when I published it, it was all evened out into regular stanzas by the blog formatting.  It occurred to me to save it in jpeg and treat the pages as photographs and that seems to have worked.

http://www.napowrimo.net/participants-sites/