Urban Princess

Those bucolic pleasures such as sleeping in a tent
are clearly not the pleasures for which this girl was meant.
I prefer my pleasures slightly more urbane.
Cooking over campfires? Definitely insane.
I find it most peculiar— this sleeping in the sticks—
where there are bears and badgers and mosquitos and ticks!
If life is a tapestry composed of warp and weave,
the warped part would be country life, I’m given to believe.
I represent the city scene. That is where I belong,
so If your plans include the countryside, I shall not go along.
Picnics? They’re for peasants. This sitting in the grass
with merely a thin blanket to separate your ass
from the dirt and ants and briars , friend, just isn’t me.
I prefer a terrace floor complete with canopy!
That’s the extent of sylvan pleasures that I’m content to try,
so if vacation plans are rural, I beg—just pass me by!

Disclaimer: This is an assumed personality, dear readers. I used to love camping and I’m not averse to cooking over a campfire or, if given a hand up afterwards, to sitting in the grass.

Prompt words today are warp, bucolic, represent and peculiar. Here are the links:
https://ragtagcommunity.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/ragtag-sunday-warp/
https://fivedotoh.com/2019/04/28/fowc-with-fandango-bucolic/
https://onedailyprompt.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/your-daily-word-prompt-represent-april-28-2019/
https://wordofthedaychallenge.wordpress.com/2019/04/28/peculiar/