“Flutter” : The Surrogate

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Surrogate w pic 6

The Prompt: Sounds Right—This is clearly subjective, but some words really sound like the thing they describe (personal favorites: puffin; bulbous; fidgeting). Do you have an example of such a word (or, alternatively, of a word that sounds like the exact opposite of what it refers to)? What do you think creates this effect?

I’ve always loved the word “’Flutter” as it applies to a butterfly or moth.  What better word could be used to describe the motion of their wings?  The moth described in my poem, however, was noticeable because of its lack of flutter.  It landed upon my computer screen like a magnetized object to metal and remained there for over two hours.  The moth pictured in the poem is the actual moth.  Tiny and green, it became part of my writing experience. Since it had chosen to remain in one position, directly on my screen, I was forced (by choice) to write around it, which could not help but influence the poem that resulted.

 

 

15 thoughts on ““Flutter” : The Surrogate”

  1. Pingback: Are You Really Charming? | Prairie Views

  3. Pingback: “Flutter” : The Surrogate | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

  4. lifelessons's avatargrieflessons Post author

    Sometimes, and my friends find if realllllly annoying! Actually, I wrote this poem two nights ago and hoped eventually it would work for a prompt. I had to take a picture of the poem to preserve its form as WordPress doesn’t exactly cooperate by maintaining the form of shape poems. This little moth was so exquisite. I’ve never seen such a tiny and subtly patterned and colored moth before. I was so happy to be able to examine it up close for such a long period of time. Originally, ForgottenMan and I were talking on Skype and his words and mine kept zinging under it which had no effect on the moth. Then when we stopped talking, the poem started to take shape. I was lying in bed with only one other light in the house on–the lampshade mentioned in the poem. Usually, this attracts bobos or mosquitoes, but this time it was just this elegant visitor.

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  8. lifelessons's avatargrieflessons Post author

    Thanks, Lydia. I’ve had many similar encounters with insects since moving to Mexico, but this one was wonderful in that it was so unplanned and simple–as though the insect itself sought contact. Instead of me inserting myself into its world, it inserted itself into mine. Judy

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  11. lifelessons's avatargrieflessons Post author

    And, it is a perfect example of just getting the words down and then editing, editing, editing. The original poem was not very good at all. I tried to get too much into it instead of just concentrating on the moth. But once down, words are easier to cut than they are to insert long after the experience is over. Daring to write a really bad poem is the first step to a good one.

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  12. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Sounds Right | tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice

  15. lifelessons's avatarlifelessons Post author

    Reblogged this on lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown and commented:

    After seeing the green moth in my last blue/green post, Forgottenman directed me back to the time many years ago when i first posted the photo of the green moth that lit on my screen, causing me to write a poem around it and then photograph the result. He encouraged me to reblog it, so here it is. I hope you enjoy it. It was such a unique experience forming a poem around an actual creature clinging to my screen. I can no longer remember why I named it “The Surrogate.” Any ideas? I invite your comments.

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