Open Letter to the Airline Mucky-Mucks

Glamour Travel

My carry-on’s too heavy to lift above my seat;
so I had to put it under, now there’s no room for my feet.
I request some water (though I’ve been twice rebuffed,)
to take an antihistamine, for my eyes are puffed
from the perfume of my seatmate, which also made me cough.
So I’m already hurting long before lift off.
I’ve squeeze marks from the narrow seats, I’m shivering from the draft,
and when this ride is over, I must board another craft!

Two hours later, two states up, I face another battle
trying to find a decent airport meal here in Seattle.
On my muffuletta sandwich (priced $15.93),
I look in vain for olives, which there don’t seem to be.
My Tim’s potato chips are stale, the sodas are all flat.
The Wifi that they advertise does not know where I’m at.
Air travel’s an adventure but not the one I sought.
I forget this lesson once again, refusing to be taught.

One hour left ‘til I lift off to wing my way on east,
I buy a drink and steel myself to board the winged beast.
I hope this time my seatmate fits in her own seat
so I don’t have to deal again with the impossible feat
of leaning out into the aisle, avoiding every ass
of passengers and stewards that brush me as they pass.
I bitch, I whine, I grouse, I cry, complain and moan and sigh.
‘Til by now I’m sure you wonder why I even fly.

I must admit I’ve asked myself the same as I’ve been talking.
The only reason I have found is that it sure beats walking.

(Written in the Seattle Airport, enroute to Billings, Montana–then on to Sheridan, Wyoming by car, chauffeured by Patti and accompanied by Patty.  Yes, I have a plethora of P’s in my life.)

The Prompt: Singular Sensation– if you could have a guarantee that one, specific person was reading your blog, who would you want that person to be? Why? What do you want to say to them?

9 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Airline Mucky-Mucks

  1. koehlerjoni

    While planes take us to marvelous places, I agree that flying can be quite the ordeal. When we returned from Munich recently, the bathrooms on the plane backed up. We sat on the runway in Chicago for five hours while they fixed the bathrooms and got approval for us to leave again. They couldn’t very well feed and water a bunch of people without restroom facilities, so we went nine hours without a meal. At least they let us leave to go to the bathroom, although we had to go with a customs agent glaring at us. It was worth it to get to see Europe, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lifelessons Post author

      That happened to me in Cairo once. We had to make an emergency landing and spend the night on the plane and couldn’t leave. The next morning we flew on to Iran where we again had to land but this time they got us hotel rooms for our 8 hour wait while they did more repairs. We finally made it to China…a loooooong trip indeed on Pakistani Airlines.



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