Unfortunate Fortunes–NaPoWriMo 2016, Day 13

Version 2

Thirteen Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes

–Your ingrained habits are not gluten free.
–You will be the life of your friend’s party this weekend when you mistakenly consume gluten and start making rye comments.
–Your mother-in-law will join a motorcycle gang and become your mother-out-law.
–The roots of your problems are showing.
–You will be asked to sing “Hello Jung Lovers” at the next synchronicity symposium you attend.
–Your children are engaged in a conspiracy to turn you into your parents.
–Seventy-six trombones are seventy-five too many.
–Cadets are advised that participating in naval maneuvers will not make your outie an innie.
–The reason why your cat is always trying to trip you is because he does not like your shoos.
–Taking time to smell the roses does not necessarily guarantee that there will be roses to smell.
–At your next poetry reading, you will drop a page of your manuscript on the way to the stage and be requested to remove your feet from the aisle.
–Just because you know how to read a meter does not mean you know how to maintain one.
— At your awards ceremony for being a prolific sperm donor, expect your recipients to give you a standing ovulation.

And One Fortunate One:

–You will outgrow your ingrown toenail.



And, since I hope this post will furnish a few giggles, I’m posting it on the WordPress site as well.: https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/giggle/

This entry was posted in Uncategorized on by .

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

34 thoughts on “Unfortunate Fortunes–NaPoWriMo 2016, Day 13

    1. lifelessons Post author

      This is the third time they’ve given us this prompt in four years, so I was tempted just to do a link. I didn’t think I had more fortunes in me. Then I thought, nah. Give it a try. Turns out I had more fortunes in me than a bag of fortune cookies!!

      Liked by 3 people


      Oooooooh now that is my kind of humor…Thanks for an intelligent upstanding “Facebook post”~! You missed the one about the necked moron lady, on your next visit will have a little moron.
      Terrible,,,,,,but good.


  1. karen church

    Hi  Judy, my name is Karen Church. I am the daughter of Glenda Roman.  She asked that I contact you and let you know that her computer was hijacked and she would greatly appreciate it if you would let all of your mutual friends know. And to please, please do NOT answer or open anything that is sent to you or them. She has no idea what happened but she is concerned for all her friends. Thank you very much.  Also as a side note. I love, love, love your blogs.  Thank you for making my days a bit brighter.   Karen Church 

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oloriel

    Oh, these were funny, but some of them are philosophical too! I had fun imagining my mother in law on a motorcycle, in a gang, being an outlaw and it was just too funny. This one however made me think:”–Your children are engaged in a conspiracy to turn you into your parents.”

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oloriel

        Oh, that sounds like a very great advice! I was wondering, when wanting to make my own, how will I put the fortunes in without making a culinary disaster?
        Thank you very much for reading my poem and taking time to leave me a word of your own, have a wonderful day! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    1. lifelessons Post author

      Thanks, Linda. I think we both had fun with this one. Did you do it the two other years they’ve given us the same prompt? I did it the first one, then just did a link to that one the second time because I was on the road.


    1. lifelessons Post author

      Thanks… I love your line about both of you not looking good==its weither you or the house. Ha. I have often felt like that just before a party when I realize I’ve run out of time. Yes, it is the house that ends up looking good!!!


    1. lifelessons Post author

      Thanks, revivedwriter and I’m so glad you have revived yourself! We all have those down periods. I’m always afraid now that if I don’t write every day that I’ll never start again.


    1. lifelessons Post author

      I know, Dreamer. A few days ago they featured my incredibly talented poet friend Linda and I was thrilled. Then yesterday , I learned I’d been featured through the comment of one of my followers. That was the very best way to learn of it–like an Easter egg discovered in a hidden place. I am especially pleased that you are pleased for me. I am constantly amazed by the warmness and generosity of other bloggers. What a wonderful community to be a part of.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 13 -“Let Your Passions Take Your Breath Away” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

  4. Pingback: Reblog: Thirteen Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes | lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown

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