So, I was sleeping and awakened to something going on in the living room. I thought perhaps one of the cats had jumped down and knocked something over, but then I heard a voice speaking. I opened my eyes and it was still dark. It is Sunday and no one is slated to come today! I reached out for the small dispenser of pepper spray I keep by my bed. It is 19 years old. Will it still work?

I got up slowly and as I progressed down the hall, I wondered what I should do–lock myself in the bathroom or slip out the bedroom sliders to the outside? Then I recognized the voice. “Nine hours and 45 minutes. Time to take the banana bread out of the oven. Nine hours and 45 minutes. Time to take the banana bread out of the oven.”

“Alexa!” I shouted, “Turn off the reminder!” Last night when I was setting the timer for the banana bread from Hell, I had set two reminders, one for 40 minutes and one for 45 minutes, but as I did, Alexa had misunderstood one and set it for nine hours and 40 minutes so I had redone it.

In the rush of the excitement over discovering my mistake and dealing with the lava flow in the oven and the other after-effects, two of the reminders had gone off and been silenced, but I had forgotten about the ticking time-bomb of the third.

Six-thirty in the morning and she was as dependable as ever. “Nine hours and 45 minutes. Time to take the banana bread out of the oven.”

“Alexa! Turn off the alarm!!” She finally heard me from two rooms away. I imagine the neighbors did, too.

And this is what, along with caked-on sugar all over the bottom of the oven and a sink full of other dishes associated with the great fiasco, is what awaits me in the kitchen this morning.

An hour later, oven cleaned. Now on to the next round.Β 

Well, almost. The oven light is burned out, so the oven looked great when I finished, but the flash of the photo has perhaps revealed a bit too much. Guess I have farther to go before getting this mess cleaned up. So this is how i have spent my 9th Sunday of “Shelter in Place” so far.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged on by .

About lifelessons

My blog, which started out to be about overcoming grief, quickly grew into a blog about celebrating life. I post daily: poems, photographs, essays or stories. I've lived in countries all around the globe but have finally come to rest in Mexico, where I've lived since 2001. My books may be found on Amazon in Kindle and print format, my art in local Ajijic galleries. Hope to see you at my blog.

19 thoughts on “Invader

  1. slmret

    Is this a case of “All’s Well that Ends?” btw, whatever did you use to get your oven so clean so quickly — that would have taken me all day to accomplish!


  2. slmret

    I just opened my emails to a heading as follows: “5 Creative Ways to Use Your Loaf Pan That Aren’t Banana Bread” I’ll let you know if there’s anything there of interest!


  3. Glenda

    Oooo, a new fave example of “Oh God! Now what?!” desperate terror . It’s a good thing your story teller’s voice made clear you survived to tell it or I might have overdosed on adrenaline empathy, even as Mar guffawed way too much at the punch line, as a release, perhaps, in the face of the other dreads hanging over our heads. But how enlivening! How anti-ennui! Perhaps we will make a date tonight of sharing our own such examples of “narrow escapes and misunderstandings, yet here we still be, to laugh in relief” stories. Thank you both, Judy and Alexis for the timely “wake-up-dammit-all-call!” Love you, Glen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lifelessons Post author

      Glen, we could talk via Zoom. I’ve participated in two sessions over the past week and it works pretty well. I’ve never set one up but we could probably firgure it out. We could do it with Harriet, Gloria,,Leslie and Judy as well.


  4. lifelessons Post author

    I would never have purchased an Echo, but my friend Brad got it for me as a gift. Sometimes your friends know better than you do. He evidently has an Echo in every room. I have mine on my desk in living room dining room and you can hear it in the kitchen as well. It is so handy. It can translate, work as a timer or reminder, give any information in the world. Really amazing. They can even be made to turn lights off and on and to open and lock doors. I guess I draw the line at that. I want my locks to lock with keys.



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