He’d written the definitive how-to-do-it guide,
but needed a good editor, so I had applied.
He was a woodsy sort of bloke, self-confident and curious,
but once I got to know him, I found him to be spurious.
Though he seemed independent, when I asked him to replace
a light bulb in its socket, he did a turn-of-face.
He balked and had a certain emergency of bladder
when asked if he would simply climb up on a ladder!
It seems the very sort of jobs he taught us to be doing,
due to his acrophobia, were ones he was eschewing!
When it came to home improvement, he was words upon a shelf,
giving literal meaning to the term “do-it-yourself!”