A Night in Shining Armor
The royal chambers were impressive, their ceilings high and vaulted,
and the king that lived within them was respected and exalted,
but he’d grown a bit too portly around his hips and bust.
To put it more politely? He was overly robust.
Only once a year was there a problem with his girth.
On the anniversary of his country’s birth
when he had to put on armor, it had become a must,
if he was to fit inside it, to be securely trussed.
Thus girded and then girdled, he was stuffed within
armor made for him before, back when he was thin!
Luckily, there was sufficient room around his face,
so, although the rest of it lacked sufficient space,
he was able to make speeches about affairs of state,
to eulogize and glorify and pontificate!
Then, after the ceremonies, feeling young and sprightly,
he visited his concubines, clad regally and tightly.
But when he tried to exit his protective crust,
he found that he’d been glued within by a seal of rust!
They tried to use a crowbar, a hammer and a chisel,
but, alas, it was a rainy day and all that drizzle
had sealed him tight within the metal of his kingly raiment,
making it a prison, not just a brief containment.
At length, they called a blacksmith who with cutting, prying, hammering,
in spite of the king’s protests, his commanding and his yammering,
removed the monarch from his shell, released him to his ardor,
none-the-worse for all those nightly visits to his larder.
The ladies took him to their beds and comforted and soothed him,
giving him that royal special care that much behooved him.
And when next year the king was placed upon his royal charger,
the armor that he wore was seen to be some sizes larger.
The invoice that the blacksmith sent for the king’s re-guising,
tactfully just charged him for adjustment and resizing,
but in fact, the artisan had made a big improvement
bound to make it easier for future royal movement
if he kept up his nightly search for items that were edible.
Cleverly, he made it out of chainmail that was spreadable!
Prompt words today are robust, invoice, sprightly and exalted. I took this photo in 1969 on an eight week driving tour of Great Britain. It was taken in the castle of Sir Walter Scott. Just this year, I bought a slide converter and converted the slides of that trip to jpegs. I hadn’t seen these photos in almost fifty years! Came in handy today.
A fun poem. You didn’t link to RDP. Somehow wires are crossed when I click on robust it takes me to Youtube…Roamin’ in the Gloamin’ by Harry Lauder! Which by the way may fit nicely with your tour all those years ago!!
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Ha. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll fix it. “Gloamin'” was a prompt word yesterday and it reminded me of the song so I went in search of it.
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That song takes me back! It was a pleasant diversion!
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What a lively imagination you have 🙂
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The prompts provide an excuse to use it, Derrick.
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🙂
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So that’s how chain mail was invented. I had such a vivid image of Henry VIII portraits in his older years! This was a fun poem, Judy.
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Ha..
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You were touring GB, took that photo in the year I was born 🙂
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Wow.. You kid. Where in GB were you? I was driving my mother and we went to Wales, GB from the south coast through Scotland to Findhorn. It was a wonderful trip visiting homes of favorite writers and settings of favorite books. A Literary Tour of Great Britain!
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Ha! Feel old but that’s entirely relative, isn’t it 🤣
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I so needed to laugh today!
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Really liked this one Judy, first as a poem and then as a great story~! and last as a suit of armor I too have seen~! Still working on my slides, many are difficult to recover. Sorry I am late is seeing this post.
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I have a huge storage container of slides.. Just moved it aside today so the electrician could get to the nonfunctioning doorbell works. Just not enough time…
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Ha, Ha~! I Wish a non-functioning doorbell was the worse of MY problems. It is now up to near 40 so I am waiting for the thaw, to see if any other pipes are broken when they flow again. The one that comes up from my deep well goes through stone, so is not buried deep enough to be safe; and my rain water system, though full, is not functioning due to three broken pipes in the pump house. Out biggest problem here is that the power does not stay on long enough to thaw us out before it goes off again. I finally got online a few minutes ago after a couple of days no communication at all~! I remember that in a gated garden you would need a Gate bell, mine used to be a bell with a string tied to it…(try it~!)
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I have one of those as well, but hard to hear. My magic man plumber/electrician came yesterday and solved most of my problems. I now have water pressure, a motion detector light in basement, light detectors on two outside light, submersible pump installed and probably things I’ve forgotten taken care of. Such a relief. I will never cease my appreciation for people who come into my house and make my life so much better… Pasiano, Yolanda, Jose and Alberto. Thank you thank you. Along with good neighbors and friends, how much joy and comfort they furnish…
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I’ve been so busy I’ve barely had time to read posts so I understand.
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