Tag Archives: silly poem

In a Spuddle

 

Forgottenman is the first to add his photo as one who spuddles! Next?

In a Spuddle

You may think that “spuddle” isn’t a word,
and I agree that it sounds most absurd.
When unsubstantiated, I agreed
that it was unlikely that I’d ever need
a word whose best rhyme turned out to be puddle
or cuddle or muddle or fuddle or huddle,
but when I embarked on an examination,
I found that it wasn’t a mere fabrication,
and though I admit that it seems an anomaly,
as out-of-date as a needlepoint homily,
if you need a word for when you’re forgetful,
fresh from your dreams and still rather fretful,
when you’re befuddled and  in a slight muddle,
the word you might need to describe you is “spuddle.”

Prompt words today are spuddle, unsubstantiated, forgetful, anomaly and examination.

Spuddle: a useful verb from the 17th century that means to work feebly and ineffectively, because your mind is elsewhere or you haven’t quite woken up yet.

 

So, when trying to illustrate this, I had a bit of a problem finding an adequate photo so I had to stage this one. Can you help me out by contributing one of yourself, fresh from sleep or feeling especially feeble or ineffective? Be warned that I’ll add it to make a gallery above, but could be fun.

Dental Discourse: dVerse Poets Compound Word Verse

 

Dental Discourse

She could not stand the sad sad sight
of his horrendous overbite.
She arranged to take him to a
dentist, thinking he could do a
makeover.

She asked the doc what he would charge
to make his overhang less large.
The price he set to make each tooth less
was, I fear, greedy and ruthless
overkill.

Thus began their drawn-out dicker
that I think would have gone quicker
if his teeth had been less icky,
and the job a much less tricky 
overhaul.

After much talk, they struck a deal,
both thinking that they’d made a steal.
But then with little else to do,
 she said  if he attempted to
overcharge,

she would have his license lifted
no matter how bloody gifted
he might have been (when this all ends)
at cutting down her toothy friend’s
hangover.

 

 

For dVerse Poets prompt: Compound Word Verse Image by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

This form consists of 5  five-line stanzas with aabb rhyme schemes, each containing 8 syllables and each stanza concluding with a three-syllable compound word that had one element the same as all other compound words in the final lines of the stanzas. Phew!

The Bishop’s Latest Miracle

The Bishop’s Usual Cap

The Bishop’s  Latest Miracle

Although his past proclivity was to regurgitate,
allow me to encapsulate the bishop’s present state.

He’s rickety and yet he has no tendency to brood.
In fact, against all reason, he’s in a euphoric mood.

And lest you think nobility has anything to do with it,
when he eats, he has a brand new medicine to chew with it.
Since they’ve added magic mushrooms to his omelets of late,
 he’s finishing his breakfast and licking clean the plate.

He’s ordered a new upper plate and hopes that what he’ll do with it
is to exercise his jaws by learning how to chew with it.
Then he’ll have special omelets morning, noon and night
and justify it, saying he’s practicing his bite.

 

The Bishop’s New Cap

Today’s prompt words are encapsulate, euphoria, rickety, noble and regurgitate,

Casting Out Lines with Tina

Casting Out Lines with Tina

Night has come to my great sorrow,
Light won’t be here ‘til tomorrow.
Can’t go fishin‘ ‘til the morning,
but I’m wishin’ that the warning
that dad made could be forgotten
and these fish were caught, not boughten!

Night has come to my great sorrow.
Light won’t be here ‘til tomorrow.

Still we will rise before day dawns,
rub sleep from eyes and stifle yawns.
There’s time left to grant our wishes,
bait our hooks and catch those fishes!

This is the trickiest prompt that I’ve seen in a looooong time. Tina’s Zigzag Rhyme rules are the quirkiest and I think I’ve followed them to a “T.” (In no place does she say that it’s not legal to end every line in a rhyme–just that you must do so in lines 5, 6, 11 and 12, so I rhymed every couplet. Words that must be rhymed by Tina’s rules are underlined in my poem, just to make your checking up on me easier. No, that’s not Tina pictured with me. That’s my big sister Patti. I’m pretending to have caught all those fish she’s holding.

Tina’s Zigzag Rhyme is a form created by Christina R Jussaume and found at Poetry Styles (site no longer accessible.)

  • It starts with a sestet, refrain, quatrain and then another refrain and quatrain if you wish.
  • It must be uplifting subject.
  • Rhyme in first two lines is at left,
  • next rhyme is center in lines 3 and 4,
  • and rhyme in lines 5 and 6 is an end rhyme.
  • Refrain is first two lines of poem.
  • After refrain , in the quatrain you use center rhyme, then end rhyme.
  • It is an 8 syllable per line poem. No limit to stanzas but must have,at least one sestet, refrain, and quatrain.
  • Thanks to David at Skeptic’s Kadish for sharing this form. See his poem at his link HERE.

Logorrhea

Logorrhea *

You’re wearing out our neurons with your tedious lengthly screed.
You’ve made us weep with boredom and you’ve made our eardrums bleed.
Please cease your tedious lectures about people we don’t know.
We’re tired of your illnesses and other tales of woe.
The remnants of our patience grow dangerously thin.
We’ve seen your family pictures and know everywhere you’ve been.
Have you heard of asking questions and surrendering the floor?
Have you ever thought of stopping while your listeners want more?
Do you realize that others have stories to relate?
This is a truth, my boring friend, not open to debate.
We’d like to share a secret that isn’t very tough, it
is to take your next comment and this is where to stuff it!!

 

 

   * Logorrhea: a pathological inability to stop talking. (Diarrhea of the mouth.)
   * Screed: a long speech or piece of writing, typically one regarded as tedious.

The prompts today are neuron, remnant, screed and wear.

 

A Vampire’s Lament

 

On the Wagon
(A Vampire’s Lament)

I’m facing a whole month of sober
now that it’s almost October.
Passing up my gin and tonic
for a drink more histrionic.

Need I say I merely ask
liquid refreshment from a flask?
All said and done, I much prefer
to drink from glass and not from her.

I find this other way of curbing
my addictive thirst disturbing.
All that blood that sucking draws
is neater when it’s done through straws.

Alas, I find this vampire curse
most distressing. Nothing worse
could be my fate except perhaps
karma so far kept under wraps.

An Easter curse would be the dregs—
to spend all April sucking eggs!

 

For Tourmaline’s Halloween Challenge: Vampire Image by Dinu J. Nair on Unsplash.

The Astronauts are Called In From Vacation: Wordle 523

The Astronauts are Called In From Vacation

The time’s drawing near for our next big space mission,
so there’s no more time for beaches or fishin’,
Be speedy in putting your sail boats away
and wrap them up tightly so they won’t decay
in the salty sea air while you are in space,
murdering miles at a furious pace.

There’s much to be found as you leave Earth behind.
for far beyond the usual grind,
no weapons are needed and there’s less debris.
No tickets or tollroads, for passage is free
except for the millions to set off our rockets,
but the rich can be sure it comes out of the pockets

of everyday men like the plumbers and teachers
and waitresses, cowboys, bus drivers and preachers.
And when you get home, your boats will be waiting.
There’ll be no delay and there’ll be no debating.
Whether fishing for stars or starfish or krill,
Joe Public will be there to pick up the bill.

 

Here are the Wordle prompts for Oct 17, 2021:  mission, murder, beaches, time, tight, boat, speedy, weapon, space, found, air, drawing. Image by Spacex on Unsplash.

For the Sunday Whirl Wordle Prompt

The Confessions of a Halloween Candy Hoarder

The Confessions of a Halloween Candy Hoarder

I do not accept your recent accusal
as anything but an attempt to bamboozle
me out of the vestiges of my collection
of Halloween candy that’s skipped your detection.

I’m thankful that I’m neither trustful nor dumb
enough to be functioning under your thumb,
for I find repugnant your plans to abscond
with all of the candy with which I’ve grown fond.

For though you gobbled your candy down quickly,
going through all of it lickety-splickly,
I like to keep my candy yield near
and eat one piece a day for the rest of the year!

When days are balmy, butterscotch is nice.
I save all my chocolate for snow days and ice.
And when the campfire sparkles and flickers,
I like to devour my Halloween Snickers.

If it annoys you, you’ll have to make do
with a few M&M’s that I hid in my shoe.
The rest of my candy is where I have hidden it,
to be consumed when only I’ve bidden it.

Prompts for the day are vestige, repugnant, bamboozle, balmy and thankful.

Darjeeling, Lockjaw and Delayed Gratification


Darjeeling, Lockjaw and Delayed Gratification

I’d make conversation but my upper plate
seems to be grinding my lower of late.
I fear there’s a fissure that’s preventing their matching
and somehow my back teeth just seem to be catching
and locking which creates a problem in chewing,
so eating’s another thing I won’t be doing.

I’m bungling everything done by my jaws.
At talking and eating I’m taking a pause.
For now I’ll just listen and watch you eat pie.
If you give me a straw, I’ll simply get by
by sipping my tea and nodding my head
in avid agreement with everything said.

I could have stayed home and stared at the wall,
but I couldn’t face not seeing y’all,
so I will just sit here and soak in the news,
forsaking my own chance to thrill and amuse.
Until I’ve seen my dentist, you’ll just have to wait
for the juicy story I was going to relate!

Prompts today are conversation, fissure, matching, bungle and upper.

Well-Spoken


Well-Spoken

Grandmother was a lexophile, erudite and bossy.
She said that I was malapert when she meant I was saucy.
She sat astride her horse for she was loath to simply straddle it,
and she “installed her pillion.” She didn’t merely saddle it!

Every sentence that we spoke required mediation.
Nothing was radioactive. It “emitted radiation!”
Cannibals weren’t maneaters, but rather “anthropophages,”
and prom dates brought us sprays of roses, not merely corsages!

Her mania for polite words was nothing less than ludicrous.
When dealing with the birds and bees, “womb” subbed for the word uterus.
Gentlemen had “members,” for their penises were banished—
“boobs” and “knockers” terms for bosoms that somehow had vanished.

It seems she put small value in words that spoke directly,
for it was more important that we chose words correctly.
Dictionaries were her Bibles, and they had the final word
when we used terminology that Grandma found absurd.

 

Prompt words for the day are straddle, radioactive, ludicrous, contumely and maneater.