A Speedy Release
A fellow by the name of Kurtz
never sipped when he could Xertz.
No matter what the size or name
of liquid, it was just the same.
Milk or water, Coke or beer
took just seconds to disappear.
When asked to give an interview,
He said, “Please meet me in the loo,”
and when he rose, most resolutely,
the news reporter said, “Absolutely,”
hustling after as Kurtz sped
out of the barroom to the head,
whereupon he caused to pass
that liquid lately in his glass.
Thus did the newsman get his lead.
To simplify, he said, “Kurtz peed,
beating his record for fast sipping,
by three seconds, stream to dripping!